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A description of yet another wonderful day at the mall.
"There you are!" Oh no. The dreaded voice. There is now officially nothing that can make this day any worse. "I've been looking for you!" her sweet voice almost numbs me; it's just frightening. "Do you want to know what I found for you?" Oh please, you know nothing thrills me more than being surprised. Of course, I don't really answer at all. Everything I say is a reason to laugh in her little high-pitched voice of hers. The worst thing is, her name is Cherry. So even when you say her name she thinks you're flirting with her. Trust me, you don't want too. Ever. "I don't know, a gun so I can kill myself?" I murmur to Chrissy, who's sitting on the right side of me. She giggles. Cherry doesn't hear me, thank goodness for that. Instead, she hands me this giant photograph of a turtle. "Well, you know there is nothing more extravagant than having a giant turtle hanging in your bedroom," I snort, trying to hide my laughter. No, she isn't my girlfriend, she's sort of... stalking me. And I can't get rid of her, sadly enough. "Oh, you're so funny!" she squeals, laughing that little annoying laugh I was telling you about. "You should totally do a stand-up comedian show!" It all becomes a bit to much for Chrissy, and she bursts out laughing. Cherry smiles a little confusingly at me, saying; "What's wrong with her." "Nothing. Nothing at all," I answer, begging myself to keep a straight face. Cherry nods uncertainly.
"Anyway," Chrissy continues, as she sits back straight again. "We need to talk." She drags me away from Cherry, and I sigh in relief when I see she isn't going to follow us. "Okay, it's hilarious that she's here and doing her thing and everything," Chrissy says, a serious-ish look on her face. "But this has to stop. I hate her. You hate her. And that's exactly what you're going to tell her." I know she's right, but hey, I'm pretty damn soft when it comes to saying mean stuff to people like... let me rephrase that. I'm pretty soft when it comes to getting rid of Cherry. Wanna find out why? Read on, my friend.
Have you seen one of the earliest Friends episodes (Season 1) where Chandler has to get rid of whats-her-name.. Janice? Well, Cherry is Janice all over again. Thank God I'm not her actual boyfriend. "Cherry," I say, walking up to her. "Um... I just wanted to say..." Chrissy looks at me intently. Say it already! "Okay, I'll just say this loud and clear," I decide. "Cherry, you're following me around everywhere, trying to get me to like you. You sometimes hide in the freaking bushes outside my bedroom window! Just face it! It's not going to happen. Stop 'stalking' me!" Then Chrissy takes my arm and drags me away from the scene, so I wouldn't have to wait to watch her reaction. "Well, that helped a lot," I laugh, not sarcastically. Chrissy nods, her eyes giving away that she is once again lost in her own little world. I walk with her towards the doors of the mall, and whoop as I step outside into the September sun.
Shadow-of-Lothario · Wed Sep 23, 2009 @ 06:29pm · 1 Comments |
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