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Harsh, loud lyrics filled my weary ears. My eyes were closed, my face was calm. The door to my bedroom was locked, and the songs that beat from my iPod blocked out her constant crying and moaning. Who is she? The Listen-to-me Lady. Her voice is the one I heard most often these days, her voice is the one that's begging me to leave my constantly dark room. That's the way I like it; iPod screaming out silently, the lights out and the curtains closed. The alarm clock on the table next to my bed turned away from me. My battered, broken head rested on the green-and-black pillows. It had been like that for two days now. Two days, ever since he died.
"Just open the ******** door!" A loud voice interrupted my disconsolate dreams. The Listen-to-me Lady was at it again, but she had reached a new level. Anger. My iPod's battery had finally died, and apparently I had fallen asleep. "Open the door, Laurence!" Don't call me that. I wanted to scream to her to shut up and go and talk to someone else. It seemed to be her motto lately; talking helps. Well, to me talking feels about as comforting as being strapped to a chair and forced to eat live frogs. But if I didn't start talking soon, the Listen-to-me Lady would break the door and I wouldn't be able to close and lock it again. I hesitated, but walked to the door and sat in front of it. "What do you want to talk about, then?" I growled in mock enthusiasm. My voice was cracked with lack of use. She didn't reply, strangely enough. I sat there for a minute until the taciturnity became to much and I walked back to my bed. I glanced at the mirror as I walked past it. "Wow." My eyes were bloodshot and lifeless, my hair was a mess and my t-shirt was ripped in several places. There were cuts on my arms. Had I done this to myself?! I started seeing the reality of my depression, and headed towards the light switch. "Laurence, please come out of your room," the Listen-to-me Lady moaned from the other side of the room. "I just want to talk to you about Jamie." Oh yeah. Now I remembered why I had done this. My brother had died. My best friend. "Laurence? Are you there?" she asked. Anger mixed with sadness and confusion bubbled up inside me. I turned around, heading away from my light switch. Once again I glanced in the mirror. My anger reflected back at me, and tears started to swim in my eyes again. I let them spill gently. "How could someone be so impetuous and stupid to kill him?!" I yelled out loud, hitting the mirror with my fist will all my strength. It shattered into bits and pieces, broken beyond repair. Just like me. "What's going on?" the Listen-to-me Lady asked. "What did you do now?!" I didn't hear her, though. Ignoring my bleeding hand, I took my iPod again, and plugged it into the charger and put the headphones on. Turn up the music and block out the world like nothing's wrong.
Shadow-of-Lothario · Fri Sep 25, 2009 @ 04:14pm · 0 Comments |
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