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I'm ready to finally write what has been happening over here. At the end of July my mom got a call from my Tia L (this is an aunt I have only met once in my life). Apparently her son M, who came to AZ to live, was kicked out of my cousin J's house and he had no where else to go. So my mom being my mom went to pick him up as well as his girlfriend, who were both living in M's car at the time. First of all we all knew (meaning me, my dad, and my siblings) something wasn't right because not even my grandma would take M in (and my grandma takes everyone in). We were told that M would only be staying for a week because he had a place lined up with the Job Core program. So the week comes and we find out it's only an interview, he didn't have a spot yet. The interview goes well but M has 30 days to get some medical papers signed because of his medical issues. Now this means he has it and all he needs to do is see his doctor, go over his meds with the doctor, and get these papers signed. 30 days is more then enough time to do this.
What does he do instead? He blows it! He doesn't actually start to get the ball rolling till the last 2 weeks of his 30 days. By then its too late because he isn't really pushing for it. So by now he has spent a month in our home and let me tell you he is not a considerate house guest at all! He's dirty, never cleans up after himself, he uses a different cup every time he serves himself a drink, he eats out of large tuperware, take about 2-3 showers a day, and doesn't go to sleep until about 6 in the morning (that's a lot of electricity running). Oh and then there is his lying thing. He lies all the time. He's mom would call him from TX and he would spout a bunch of BS about how he is trying...yeah right!
So during this whole time everyone in the house is fed up with him but can we say anything, NO! My mom just keeps saying 'He doesn't know better. You have to tell him. You have to show him.' So basically I have to treat him like a child?! He is 19 yrs. old. If he thinks he's old enough to leave his momma's house then he should be old enough to know how to take care of himself. I mean he doesn't even know how to wash dishes! I knew how to was a dish since I was 8! So we put up with it and we tell him repeatedly 'clean up after yourself,' ' go to bed by 10, other people in this house have work and school,' 'etc, etc, etc' You would think telling him once would be enough but no he just doesn't listen. Finally we all got fed up and told my mom she needs to talk to both M and his mom and tell them he can't stay here anymore. My dad was willing to go as for as to let M have till the end of Oct to find a job and a place. But my Tia L wasn't having it. She wanted to do a mini conference on the phone with my parents, her, and M. It was then that I knew we weren't getting rid of him.
Now let's get to 2 weeks ago. By this time my nerves are fried, and I am both mentally and physically exhausted. M is up from morning to night either watching TV, playing on his PS3, or playing his keyboard. M doesn't do anything quiet either. You can hear any electronic he is on from outside the house. At the moment we are on M-power (and it sucks bad) so my dad sat down with M told him exactly what M-power was and how it worked. Then he tells M 'that's why we need you in bed by 10 ok?' and M says, 'Ok.' To me that's an understanding. That night around 10 both me and my brother are already in bed. M is in the living room on his key board. 11 comes around and he is still on his key board. I text my dad and tell him he needs to tell M to go to sleep because if I do it I'm not going to be nice about it. My dad says there is nothing to do about it because my mom wants us to leave M be. I try to take it I really do, but I was so tired. Finally I get out of bed and just start yelling at him. I really just wanted an answer to why he doesn't listen and what does he keep telling me? 'I don't know.' That's not an answer! So my dad comes out and ask what's going on and at that point I just break. I yell at my dad 'He doesn't know!' and bust out crying. I go to my room and just can't stop crying. My dad comes to check on him and I tell him I can't do it anymore. That if M doesn't leave, I am.
The next morning my mom calls my Tia L and tells you she's not going to let her daughter who helps around the house leave for someone who does nothing all day. So we were all happy. M was suppose to leave that weekend but L never called back to make arrangements. When she did it was Monday and she was crying that she wouldn't have money to send him back till the end of the month. We (excluding my mom) all knew this was crap! That woman had been sending M $50-$100 weekliy. So we say no, if she can't 'find' the money we'll raise it ourselves. We start to hit up other family members and start to sell our stuff. When my mom tells L this she suddenly has some money to contribute, but wait M was crying to her that he didn't have any good luggage so he needed money for that. Guess what? She sends $200 the next day. M's ticket only cost around $150. He's gone now. He left Thursday and we were both happy and mad at the same time. Happy because he was gone. Mad because my mom had the nerve to cry and say we didn't make it easier for him. How much easier did she want us to make it? We cleaned up after him, made food for him, just put up with him in general. What did she want us to make his appointments for him and do his interviews for him?! The boy was lazy. He came home one day and said he found a job...that job was selling Avon. I mean really?!
I'll admit I did feel bad. I thought maybe it was us. But then I found out about all his other 'visits.' He went down to Virginia to live with his dad for a while, his dad sent him back to his mom. When he first came down to AZ he lived with my grandma for a bit, then he moved in with my Tia A, then from there he moved in with our cousin J. Each and every home he went into had the same problems we did. My Tia A even tried to help him the most by taking days off from work to give him rides to his appointments. Before M left I talked to him to clear the air, just to let him know I didn't hate him (because I don't) but that I was just angry and frustrated at him. When we were talking he went as for to say 'I just thought when I came out here I would get more help from the family.' There is a fine line between help and being taken advantage of, and what he was doing was taking advantage of family that didn't even know him (He lived in TX growing up while the rest of us are in AZ).
That's what has been happening with me. I'm still angry about it because there is a lot more I didn't write, but at the same time I'm so tired of thinking about it. All I know is 1. I hope he doesn't come back anything soon, and 2. I hate that something like this happens when you try to help someone out. Things like this make me lose faith in people sad
 Sahu · Mon Sep 28, 2009 @ 07:08pm · 1 Comments |
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