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{ Mood: Bummed } { Listening To: .hack//SIGN soundtrack } { Reading: Tempted by P.C. Cast } { Eating: Nothing } { Scent: Sickness } Testing Connection. Please wait. . . . . . . . . . . Connected. LOG IN Username: User_1 Password: ***** Welcome Reader Notice: Incoming Transmission. Would you like to connect? Enter password: ***** Password valid. Patching. Please wait. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Connected. Transmission patched. Rofflies, thought I forgot about that? Nah, I love it. I'm a techie freak, I've always loved sci-fi stuff, so why wouldn't I want to integrate it? That's a good question but certainly not one that I'll answer because the answer to that is pointless. Pointless, I say! Anyway, meat bags, I'm not here for educational purposes. I'm here because there's a problem, see. That problem is you, meat bags. All of you. Oh yes, you are always the cause of my problems! I can't SLEEP because of you people! Always with the mind numbing jabber I hear through the walls, the parties you decide to throw with only two people in the middle of the night, THE TOURNAMENTS! I don't know what kind of tournaments you're having over there but it must be pretty darn hardcore if you scream about them all the time. "Hey Joe, we gonna see you later for another round?" "Yeah man, I'll be back! Going to pick up Ryan." "Uh-oh, watch out everyone--ace in the hole coming in!" Who are you people and what kind of crap do you have going on over there? It's disturbing, it's rude, so just knock it off! Now there's another problem. You're still the problem, but there's a bigger problem. Who's talking to me? That's right, I'm asking you. I'm asking you big time. Answer, darn you! Who is talking to me? Oh, you've got the answer? Okay, let me hear it. No one? Dang, you're right. Absolutely no one has been talking to me recently and it's starting to make me angry. Yeah, I haven't wrote anything since the end of the August and it's just now making me angry. The end of October, just getting angry. From August 25th to October 30 is nothing! Nothing, nothing, nothing! Just in case you didn't hear me the first time. I have wrote nothing. And for those that think it's not a big deal--you don't know me, get out of here! How dare you meat bags let the riffraff in here. We all know what writing is to me. It's sacred, it's life, it's love, it's energy--it's everything that causes me to live. Without writing, what am I doing? What have I done to keep myself alive to this point? Well, breathing, obviously, but to put it bluntly: Nothing. Just lurking around Gaia listening to the bawwing going on in the SF and GCD, although GCD has gotten their stuff under control. They don't bawww as much until a Donation Item or Evolving Item comes out. Then it's a competition against the SF and GCD to see who can have the most pointless, repetitive threads first. It's fun stuff to watch unfold, but after the third thread saying the same thing, it gets boring. It's like the Q&A. No matter how many times you answer the question, someone is still going to make another thread. We're all guilty of it. And you've got me off topic, thanks a lot. Yeah, just like that. I know you hate hearing about my writing escapades (or lack thereof), but you know there's nothing I can do about it. I'm a writer, darn it. First I want to complain about my writing then we'll see if there's a way to fix it. Complaining begins . . . now! RAGGLEFRAGGLEBLARGHOMG! Our problem is not just Chloe, oh trust me, she's already FAR in the doghouse right now, but our problem is also Benjamin. Yes, Benjamin. I'm taking a Roy tactic and am going to use his full name after everything because that's what Roy does to make Benjamin angry and right now I'm angry at Benjamin. So, what to do about him? What's wrong with him, is the question you should be asking. What's wrong with Benjamin? In a perfect world, nothing. He's exactly where he should be. A strong, independent man doing whatever he wants to do with no one to tell him otherwise or constantly fear a single slip-up will have him killed (although after faithfully serving Roy for so long (don't ask me the years, I still haven't figured out this timeline) you'd think Benjamin would begin to think he's safe, but knowing Roy, no one is ever safe, and his dog would know that better than anyone). So yeah, Benjamin is off living the life and having a great time finally getting free. That's in a perfect world. In this world, there's so much wrong here. At the beginning of the second book he's not as weak and scared as he had been in the first book, but he's still submissive. He knows better than to backtalk Roy. You backtalk and you get your tongue cut out, or something much worse. This Benjamin we have here, who's rebellious teenage side was buried deep inside until the eccentric Scarlette showed up, is not the Benjamin we can use in these situations. This Benjamin is the one who is pulling off a double agent act for Othelia, this Benjamin is the one who is constantly testing boundaries, this Benjamin is sassing Roy! This is not the Benjamin we need! The one we need is that Benjamin, the one in the back. The one who knows his place, serves Roy without a single question while stuffing his disgust and hate inside a bottle, the one who keeps his head down and takes the mental beatings. The one, who, by the end of the day, is ready to kill himself. Not the one who walks with his head held high while in Roy's presence. That's just stupid. Now some of you might say, "Well why not just reread that old stuff and get the old Benjamin back, or why not write out the rebellious one and return to the old one?" BECAUSE IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY! You don't think I've tried? Listen, kiddies, if you let the new one run free, he's going to keep getting his way. Writing out the new one will mean I'll have to keep writing the new one and so the beginning of the book will be wrong, he'll be cocky and all full of himself, and not the being he needs to be in that time. He experiences the growth later. Especially if he kills Brad, then he deserves the self-esteem boost. He got revenge on the guy who killed his only love. But that's only if he kills him, which I'm not sure if he should. If things keep up this way, he's certainly not going to kill him. He'll be too confident, and we all know what happens to over confident people in battle. Yup, their the first ones killed. I hate you, Benjamin. I'll find a way to shove your teenaged side back into you, even if that means I have to burn all your adventures with Scarlette. Especially that photo shoot, that certainly snapped something inside you. And that one is still on paper, not the computer! Ha, you almost got a French lesson there, kiddies. Almost typed "l'ordinateur" instead of "the computer." Strange how a single L can make a difference between a definite article and none. Le, la, l'--that's all "the" in French. Le livre. Je suis fatigué.... How about Chloe? Umm, last I knew she made it to the Homeland. But you know, it's really discouraging because when I read all these things to "get noticed by publishers" I realize I have to rewrite the whole first 90 pages of the story. Not that it much matters, I have to tie up loose ends in the beginning. And take out some things. Like that dream. Hate those plot devices, but they can easily fill in an unneeded explanation so that's why you use them. However, I have something better than a dream, I have Janice. Oh yes, I have a crazy hippie lady that is actually--know what? I don't want to tell you. You have to find out on your own. Anyway, discouragement. And anger. Always the anger! Why do I keep adding an extra letter to that word? I am not angery! That makes no sense! But I keep hitting the Y, making noises, and hitting the backspace. Repeat. So yeah, Jan is going to fill in the space that will be left by the dream that never happened. Then I have to search all the pages for references to that dream and take them out while still rolling the story along. And there's our problem point in the beginning of the book, how to roll the story without it getting cheesy and obvious. Oh wait, new kids come to town and terrorize girl--already cheesy and obvious. I hate how everything has to start with some kind of newness being introduced. Where's the originality? Certainly not here! I have NEVER had originality . . . everyone laugh at Naomi, the only original thing to ever happen to me, who abandoned me . . . or imagination. I'm jealous of all the writer's that say they can see their worlds and characters as they write. I don't ever see anything. That's why action or scenery is so hard for me to create; I never see any of it. Granted, I have found suitable faces for my main three Chloe, Drake, and Paris, but I don't see them interacting with each other as I write the scenes. I just do it. I don't see it. And sometimes that makes me wonder, if I can't see it, how will the reader see it? And cue me finding something better to do than wasting my time on empty dreams. I'm surrounded by all these books and all I ever think is, "What compels someone to keep reading these books? After 50 pages you should be bored of it, I'm bored of my own by that many and want to skip to the back, what makes them good?" And I still can't figure it out. Every book has a different element to drive it. My book has none. It's just words thrown together to make something that's readable but not enjoyable. It doesn't scream compelling, it doesn't say it'll keep you flipping pages. Granted, I don't have a writing group or an editor to tell me what can make something better. I don't even have someone to talk to my writing about. Bah, who cares. I'll just go rot in my notebooks. Olive_the_Monkey_Ninja · Fri Oct 30, 2009 @ 01:24pm · 0 Comments


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