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this hell that i live in gets worse every day, and im starting to think that i dont have the strength to keep going.... this battle im fighting wears me out and im growing tired. its getting hard to concentrate on anything, and im losing the tenuous grip ive kept on reality for the last couple years. and to be honest, im very afraid about what will happen in the next few years. even if i do survive with a heart beat, i sense that i will never be able to recover if i cant escape soon.... i wonder what will happen to me....