Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Straight from the mind it came, then down to the heart.
The life I had lived before I was born –like a comet- leaves a trail of stardust.
Pitter pattering down like rain,
his collage of thoughts from unknown events crashing in like falling dreams
Increasing the accumulating paranoia
within me . Scared of falling I scream, finding unworthy my hands.

They squirm and lash out from my side, these hands
as unsure as my mind, even my own heart.
It’s hard to believe it’s really there, my paranoia
is far more asphyxiating than being smothered in elusive stardust.
My imagination running wild mixing with episodes and dreams
confusing me. ‘What’s real, what’s not’ the questions repeats like rain.

All day long, it’s nothing but the eerie thoughts. All over again, rain.
my right, should it bring luck? My left, will it burn again? Hands
uncontrollably thrashing through thickets and thorns of untrustworthy dreams.
Who am I really? Are these memories even mine? My heart
Is engulfed with the new ecstasy called Stardust,
this insanity driving me nuts, far worse than paranoia.

It’s a rising flame of perpetual paranoia,
expanding through the deep basins of the darkest corner in my mind. Rain
Was all there ever was, clearing the path where stardust
had last been touched by my stringed hands
put under control by my traitorous heart
turning memories to coincidence and baffling what’s left of my dreams.

If I try my hardest though, maybe these dreams
wouldn’t really be dreams, and maybe then this paranoia
wouldn’t even exist. My deceitful heart
would no longer turn me in to the eerie rain
and the part of my brain that controls my movement will cease my hands
from holding on to the evil addiction I hold for stardust.

In the present of the past or the past of the present we’ve held some stardust
in our subconscious. It’s everywhere we’d least expect it, including dreams
manifesting my behavior, your behavior, with puppet hands
being controlled by the master of all that is paranoia.
We hold it in only to release it into the rain
relieving the grieving heart.

The hands surfaced from thick waters breaking the bands of my horrid paranoia.
The last bit of the erotic stardust had blown into the winding ocean currents of my dreams.
I will no longer let the rain control my luminous heart.