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Mental Cesspool
All the little thoughts, problems, and concerns that I may be dealing with at any given time, spread out for the internet to see.
I. Need. Help.
I need it. I couldn't resist the urge, and I looked at Kay's profile.

She lied. She LIED.

She told Nya-chan and I that her parents died. And yet she complained to one of her friends (via comments... yes, I comment-stalked) that her parents didn't pay attention to her about something. They can't do that if they're dead.

Why, kay? Where did I go wrong? Where did our friendship become so corrupt that you ended up having to do this?

You know what? No. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!! This is not okay. I thought I could forgive her lying to me about the spirits. I thought I could forgive her about lying to me about her believs. I thought I could forgive her not wanting to talk to me. But lying about your own parents being dead? What kind of person does that? Dear lord, that's just... disgusting. I can't believe I was friends with her. That's horrible.

Catherine. You meant so much to me, but we fell apart. You taught me so much, and I will always be grateful, but I won't keep hanging on to what I thought we had. It was all a lie, and I can't keep pretending that it'll all go back to the way it was if I just apologize. I can't pretend that messaging you and begging you to talk to me "Just one last time" will make things better. This is not okay, though. That's... horrible. You lied about your parents being dead. Along with countless other things. I want my closure, Catherine. And you know what? I'm taking it. I'm letting go.

I don't want to be friends with someone sick like that. I'm tired of having the gaping hole. I'm sewing myself up. I'll let go of you. I'll be independent. But I won't keep pining for you. No matter how much dedication it takes, no matter how much it hurts, no matter what I have to do, I will wrench myself away from you.

I will have my closure.

And I'm tired of this. You have no idea what you did to me. Yes, feel sorry for me. Because every time I think of you, it feels like I can't breath. My heart seizes up. I want to break down and cry. And right now, the anger is helping me through this. How dare you do that to me. I gave you everything, and you did to me what I always told myself I'd never let happen again. And I let you do it to me, which is what sickens me about it. I wasn't sure if you were lying or telling the truth about your parents. Well, now I know. And now I can move on. And I'll be using whatever means necessary to do so, even if I have to claw myself through life at every single second just to be able to breath, I will. You sick, twisted, arrogant, self-rightous, two-faced b***h. I hate you for what you've done to me. I hate you, Catherine, KayThunder, KT, Cat, Kitty, LiveFreeLoveWell, ********. I ******** hate you. How you can even live with what you did to me, and to Nya-chan is beyond me. I will never forgive you for what you did to her, and for what you did to me.

This is me walking away. This is the closure I've been begging for. Hope you have a nice life, just like you said to me. ******** you, Kay. I don't ******** need you. And I will look back on this moment, over and over, just like I did with Wijo.
And just like I did with Wijo, I will know I have made the right choice.





 
 
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