Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Through my life all I have ever done is love and love and in return all I get is treated like s**t, used as a tool, lied to and backstabbed, I've only been dating for 5 months and allthe girls I have dated have left me, only using me for sex or to get back at an old boyfriend or to make someone jealous, then when they've got all they can out of me they get up and leave me, yeah I had one girfriend what would have never left me but I cheated on her with my ex-fiancee cause I still loved her and she wanted me to be the father of her kids. That girl that I cheated on me still loved me and said that she wanted to marry me and be with me forever and always next year and that she would leve her boyfriend before that so me and her could be together but in the end thats all been a lie too, she doesn't love me as she once did cause she has someone new and I'm just something old to her now. People ask me why I cut myself and want to die and why I am always so depressed looking well here it is, I cut mysel cause I am not truly loved anymore, I cut myself cause I have been used as a tool for peoples wants, I cut myself cause I was so blinded by my own kind, warm, and loving heart that I did not notice I was being used and lied to. I want to die because my hear has nothing left to give out in the meaning of love, its all been drained away, my will for life is no more cause what was making me want to live doesn't love me anymore. I am depressed because well look at everything that has happen to me in my 5 months of dating people. My eyes have shed more tears then anyone else will ever bleed in their life time, "Eye once stained with sorrow can not ever show joy no matter how well their lifes get in the end, sorrow stains forever and happiness is only for a moment". So in my end I close my embracing arms, my warm heart, my soul and body to everyone, I shall wear no smile again, from this point on my arms are clsed and shall hold no one up, my heart is once more the dark hating ting it once was covered in the ice of a dead man, and my frown returns onto my face. This is the End of my Love and of my Life, my ody is still moving and my soul is still there, but my body is dead, and my soul is lost. Good bye my Love, Good bye my Life, and good bye my Soul.......