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I was out with kitty today. During a conversation, I learned that she had told a guy that she is not interested in him. I took the opportunity to ask her to honestly tell me how she felt. just as i thought, I was properly turned down as well. I am not sad, I feel a bit relieved.

I also found out that Kitty likes someone. It makes me feel a bit relieved, because I know that kitty will be okay now. Since she is okay, I'll need to start letting her go. She doesn't need me anymore, and she can get back to her own life. At the same time, I have to continue rebuilding my own life.

I'll continue to evolve: get smarter, stronger, wiser, tougher. It has already decided that dating and relating is not going to be a place where I belong. My dreams of a family is now done, but I do not regret it. The famous line says: Impossible dreams are always the best. I have new dreams now, realistic ones. But I will always keep my older dreams in my heart. I'll remember them not as a failure, but as a warm memory.

The only thing left is to wait till time runs out, then I can complete the ceremony. I'll probably cry on that day, but everything will be okay. Now it's time to play "Serenade", and mark this the first day of my new life. There is still a sliver of a chance that I won't live this life, but I won't hold on to faint chances anymore.