Location: Barton Town
Time: Early Morning
Well, this is a most interesting set of circumstances.
I don't often bother myself with much that happens in the world of Gaia; my little nitch of Wonderland usually proves more then enough to hold the entirety of my attention. To be specific, my home in Wonderland, with my perpetual tea party and time that stands still, what with it being killed and all. To be honest, if it's not tea related, rabbit related, Hatter related, Dormouse related, or shiny, I don't have much patience for it. Not out of general dislike, mind you; the rest of Gaia doesn't draw any contempt from me. But of a general lack of its ability to hold my attention during the months that I am not busy being mad; for, when March does roll around, there is nothing more satisfying then spreading the unwanted insanity to those who unwant it most. However, it is currently August, not March, so my mind was on the tea leaves, which, despite their proposed powers, were too busy warning me about an infestation of mormrats to bother letting me know what was in my immediate future.
What was in my immediate future was tiny and neon green. In any other local he would have been highly visible, but Wonderland can be extremely colorful whenever it chooses to be, so the little bugger blended right in. As it was, only my assortment of tea pots alerted me to his presence; the pots are good at warning about intruders. Especially when said intruder hops up on the table like he owns the place, clashing about with no care for the china. This is exactly what Diedrich did, a maniacal smile in those big red eyes as he stomped my way. I couldn't help twitching slightly at the distinctive crunch of a handle snapping free from a delicate cup, watching his approaching with an air that was generally unimpressed. I have a soft spot for rabbits in general, and anything that even resembles a rabbit... Diedrich is a lucky little devil for it, too. Rabbit-esque or not, were it March, I'd have stewed him alive for his offense. Stepping on my poor, defenseless babies...
"Hey! Hey, Marchy! Hey! Did you know?" Diedrich, if he took any notice of my murderous intent, ignored it completely as he came to a stop just out of arm's length, bracing his foot against a teapot. "Eight out of six Gaians are currently in the air! Did you know? It's a true fact!"
"It doesn't sound like a true fact..." I pointed out, reaching out to snatch at china. "Don't step in my tea."
"It is! I know, because I made it up!" Diedrich insisted with a nod. His head turned slowly to the side as he watched me take a large gulp, waiting for me to be impressed. I ignored him; I'd been more then used to the green creature by that point. "But hey! Did you know that there's a jelly-god on fire? Huh? Did you know?"
"A jelly-god?" I asked, instantly in the mood for toast.
"Yeah! He's on fire, slowly burning alive!" Diedrich completely delighted in replying. "There's a forest of trees on his head that the vampires set on fire. Did you know all of those trees are what make boats fly? Birds too! And demigods! Wiggly, jiggly demigods. It's one hundred percent true!"
"Demigod?" I blinked, frowning slightly. Demigod... jelly... demigod... why was that pulling at my mind? I had obviously brushed some important memory under the mental rug again... I started the thought process again. Demigod, trees, demigod... jelly demigod... jelly... toast...
"Yeah! He's a jellyfish. But he flies. And he's orange! And has fly-trees on his head!"
It all became suddenly clear as the memory was yanked free from the smothering oppression of the rug that was ridiculously ornate in my mind, and I commemorated the moment of sudden realization by slamming my palms down onto the tabletop, sending tea pots and a certain talkative Grunny atop it toppling over onto their sides.
"THAT. THAT, RIGHT THERE!" I stabbed my finger over Diedrich's twitching feet that protruded into the air. I ignored that fact that my guest wasn't looking to the glorious tin at the opposite end of my table that I was clearly directing his attention towards; unperturbed I hopped to my feet and scurried around the table cloth, skipped over a family of sugar containers that were inexplicably laid out amidst grass blades to snatch the tin to my chest. While Diedrich pushed himself up and rubbed a small paw to his head, I scrambled to unhinge the lid; it gave way with a pop and a warm, soothing aroma. Once open I angled the container to allow Diedrich a peak at the smattering of ethereal tea leaves that littered the bottom. "I remember now! That jelly-god... the leaves of the trees that flourish upon him are known to produce some of the richest, most delicious tea known to Gaia! I have here hardly enough leaves to brew a cup... and you're telling me their source is on fire?!? FIRE?!? That is the polar opposite thing one should be doing with such delicacies!"
"Yup. They're on fire. It's true."
"Tragic... undeniably, impossibly tragic." I whimpered, quickly replacing the tin's top and looking around suspiciously. At any moment a tea-crazed fiend could come and snatch away my rare treat that was growing rarer with every flaming second... and, if I knew this particular tea-crazed fiend, he would feel no shame in doing so, even under the circumstances. "This was an Unbirthday gift from Hatter... I was going to demand more! How can I demand more from him if it has all been burned!?"
"You can't! And that's a fact!" Diedrich felt the need to inform with a nod.
"Nonsense! I've already planned a special tea party for when he surprises me with it! There is only one solution! I must go and rescue the leaves essential to tea Nirvana myself! It is decided!" I exclaimed, setting my precious tin firmly on the table so as best to slam fist into palm. "Now, I'll need a ship, which is easy, and a crew, which is equally easy... and tea. Lots and lots and lots of tea. And toast, apparently..."
"And you'll need a guide!" Diedrich decided to contribute, finally getting his little feet under him and waving his arms up as if to invoke an embrace. "Did you know that I'm an expert airship travel guide now? I have my own sextant and everything!"
"Who on Gaia gave you one of those?"
"The god of ebay."
"Well, that does make sense..." I said, busying myself with packing a pouch full of my favorite tea time essentials. "Then you'll guide me to the demigod and, more importantly, my damn surprise gift tea leaves. Got it, Diedrich?"
His grin stretched far wider then was normal, far wider then that of even the Cheshire Cat, which was impressive given the circumstances. And just like that I was hooked on this airship nonsense. Looking back, I wonder if that little green creature knew when he showed up to my tea party that I would react the way I would, whether he stopped by simply to invoke my feverish response to take to the skies. If so, I would not only be impressed, but innately suspicious; a plotting Diedrich is a bizarre Diedrich. But I suppose it does no good to ponder over motive; there was a clear and present danger to the one thing in life that brought me pure, unadulterated joy... to fly to the rescue was the only option. Oh, I suppose it is a rather good thing that, in my quest, I will be contributing to the well-being of the demigod and all of Gaia as well, but the thought hardly crossed my mind. What can I say; I've always been a girl with her priorities in clear order. I had become an airship captain, despite the fact that I had no experience, no sense of direction, and difficulty caring for those who can't be brewed. It would seem an odd choice of a leader to me, but then again, no one asked me.
So, with Diedrich chattering away at my side about facts that weren't, I went about procuring my airship. It wasn't nearly as difficult as one would think, to appropriate a flying vessel; the Dodo is an avid builder of things that fly since he clearly can not, and enjoys torturing himself with his earthly limits. He is also often tortured by his stupidity, though that is more heaped upon him by others then something he ponders over as a hobby. Regardless, his tears were nothing in the face of my determination and Diedrich's endless chatter; we cackled in unison as we sailed our liberated airship across the skies. It was a fine vessel, as far as I was concerned; according to Diedrich it is of a build known as a Kestrel. It is small for a ship, I suppose, but has a jaunty air to it and seemed downright delighted to have been stolen. The cargo hull does appear a bit small, but I was not overly concerned at the time; I fully intended to eat Diedrich if worse came to worse. In honor of the tea that is my mission, I named the vessel The Devil's Claw, and immediately set Diedrich to painting over the sentimental christening already scrawled across the ship's side with an offensively colorful paint.
The Dodo's calls of 'thieves!' and 'rapscallions!' had hardly faded in our wake before we drove the ship directly into a large tree abloom with pillows, which was fortunate as we did not incur much damage but neatly reinforced the need for some sort of able bodied crew. Being as it we were in Wonderland, however, I made do with the ones most likely to be either as motivated by tea as myself... or easily blackmailed. Both categories strike me as able bodied enough.
The first crew member to recruit was obvious: if I expected him to give me my gift properly, I had to bring the Hatter along to fetch it. He's known as the Mad Hatter, but I prefer just calling him Hatter; it's far easier to say. I suppose it wouldn't be too far off base to say that he's my dearest friend; despite his somewhat frightening demeanor he's often the one to show up to my home demanding I set out the finest china for another endless tea party. I have a deep connection with the man; he is often times the only one who can keep me from murdering the Dormouse every March, the only one with whom I can have a deep, meaningful conversation. About tea, of course. Oh, don't get me wrong, he really is quite mad. Sometimes to the extent that he's just angry, such as the time he showed up to one of my parties only to set the surrounding forest on fire simply because it cast rather bothersome shadows that somehow irked him. And he does take to raving about things, talking to things that aren't there and such. But when it comes to tea, he is extremely dependable; something about how it soothes his mind and relaxes his senses. And he rarely if ever questions me when I demand something of him, which is why it was so ridiculously easy to distract him from the plans he'd had for the day (something involving threatening a Gaian chorus into serenading Time back into a more favorable disposition, I do believe...) and commit himself for the near future as my first mate, a position he is as suited to as I am as captain, but, for the tea, he will oblige.
Next on the list of necessary crew one needs to go about save burning tea is an experienced, seasoned cook. The Dormouse is neither, but as he owes me for drooling over a cache of perfectly baked cookies after falling asleep during one of his own stories, he's coming with me whether he likes it or not. The Dormouse is a strange little creature; he often accompanies the Hatter as a guest at my tea parties, but for the life of me I can't figure out where he comes from, or where he goes when he isn't falling asleep on my table. I've heard whispers that he can transform fully into the mouse after which he is named, but as I've never seen him do it myself I can only fall back on conjecture. He is, however, a passable cook; the trick is keeping him awake long enough to get through a dish. He has an unfortunate habit of falling asleep during things; preparing a meal, for example, or taking a bath. He's nearly died so many times as a result that he's a rather stout fellow; I've never once seen him frightened, even when I was attempting to drown him in tea last March. He doesn't take offense easily either... which is a plus, considering Hatter and I so often do things that would offend another. When awake, he sometimes can be persuaded to tell such marvelous stories, which I assume will be his backup position on the Devil's Claw. As for convincing him to join... well, I suppose it was less a case of 'convincing' as it was of 'lifting him from where we found him sleeping and placing him within the cabin without waking him'. One can often forgo asking permission when it comes to the Dormouse. I'll explain the situation to him when he wakes up... unless I forget.
Since I know nothing about the workings of an airship, and since I assumed the same of my crew at the time, I went about securing my next target, the White Rabbit, as my mechanic. Upon first glance, the anthropomorphic rabbit man doesn't look the sort to be adept at tinkering; he is generally prim, proper, and obsessed with leaving and arriving on time all the time. But when he's not rushing to and for being neurotic, he's known to be burning the midnight oil, taking apart and putting back together numerous amounts of clocks. Oh, and other things too, I assume, but clocks are his true love. It's said that if he already didn't have job security and other things that stable minded beings care about working for the Queen of Hearts that he could open his own shop, repairing things in Gaia that have been broken. Broken by means that may or may not have related to my buttering and jamming of said broken item, but that's beside the point. The thing is he's dependable, which instinct informs might be something we would need on our voyage. Nowhere near as easy to 'persuade' as the at-the-time snoring Dormouse, it took quite a bit of explaining on my part to get him to agree to even entertain the idea of accompanying myself and my growing crew. And then, it took Diedrich several long hours to break down his defenses with continuous use of high speed facts to the face and upper torso. And after that I lifted his favorite pocket watch and broke out the butter and the jam, after which he was suddenly quite willing to join us on our rescue mission, if i would but be so kind as to return the timepiece to him. Wish, granted, and mechanic, safely, if resentfully, reserved.
It quickly occurred to me that I would need someone nimble enough to be considered a general deckhand, since I didn't feel like trapping any more bodies then absolutely necessary on my small ship. Therefore I sought out the Cheshire Cat, who, true to form, proved to be the most difficult creature to find. I am not sure if it is only me, but whenever I set out to find him I never do; he delights in showing up when I have either given up on finding him or have no desire whatsoever to see the smug grin that is always on his face. However, I was relatively sure that Cheshire would be worth it, so I was determined to procure him. He has a peculiar ability to appear and disappear at will, you see; one moment he will be standing before you, and the next he's on your roof, commenting idly on your way of making decisions. One is never quite sure where he'll turn up or when, and he seems to be knowledgeable in just about every subject known to Gaia. Though he more often then not delights in speaking in riddles rather then being direct with what he knows, we get along rather well, as I love riddles myself and can occasionally amuse the both of us in an exchange of the verbal conundrums. So, once I turned from pursuit of him in frustration to brew myself some tea he appeared, looking down at me inquisitively from atop the ship's cabin. Needless to say, he somehow already knew exactly where we were going, why, and what I wanted from him. He grinned as way of acceptance before fading from sight... rather, I assume he accepted. He's always grinning, that Cheshire...With my crew secured, or as secured as could be expected, I turned my attention to rations and supplies. Diedrich, in a moment of admirable clarity, loaded the Devil's Claw up with a large assortment of boxes, which have something to do with the reason everyone else is scurrying off to help the jellyfish demigod in the sky. Something to do with supplying resources to the dying creature? Whatever the motivation, I'm not opposed to carting rescue items as long as they don't get in our way, and as Diedrich has assured me (though stream of consciousness fact giving) that no such thing will be happening, the crates have been strapped down in the foremost corner of the hull for safe keeping. Rations were dolled out on, believe it or not, advice; a crazy eyed man who claimed to have gone a few rounds with some creature named Carl advised buying as much ammunition as we could afford and being sparing with purchasing food, which is apparently more economic to find by hunting along the way. After shaking the Dormouse down for all his loose change and buying enough bullets to comfortably equip a small army, we returned to our rightfully stolen airship, ready for launch.
So, our adventure is about to begin, and my first moments as captain lie before me. This ledger is a gift from Cheshire; according to him, all captains much periodically lose themselves in their musings by taking quill to parchment. This is not completely unpleasant for me, since I am quite fond of losing myself in musings, but doing it in a position of power will take some getting used to. I wonder if I will be able to get away with ordering the White Rabbit to swab the decks? Ah... perhaps it's best not to risk it.
So, without further adieu and as official captain of the good ship Devil's Claw... time to cast off!
HH
