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Ramblings of the Optional Jesus...
So today is September...something, I don't know the dates like right above this line on the journal entry title bar. ANYWAYS. I started college, gotta say it's pretty okay. I come home everyday like totally wiped out, but it's okay guys, I got this. -two thumbs up-

As you may have guessed this journal entry will contain more things along the lines of "T^T" and "-_____________-"" The T^T comes into play for two reasons. Reason number one being, even though I am now a license driver and therefor mobile, I still haven't been able to see Brandon that often T^T It's fairly depressing. We've been dating for two years and you'd think my parents would've gotten used to the fact by now and they would be at least a bit more comfortable with it all but they're not. Reason two being I'm not trusted by my parents for reasons beyond my own knowledge. The -_______________-" Comes into play because I have to drive to and from school right. When I come home my dad checks the mileage on the car to see how far I've driven. Then he accuses me of "galavanting" around the place and going other places. I admitted that during the first week of school I'd like go and get something to eat after class or go to the mall, but that's it. When I'm coming home, I find alternate routes to get there but he believes that I'm like sneaking around the place and whatnot. He threatened to take the car away and make me take the bus to and from school just because I'm putting miles on the car. It's a ******** car. It's gonna gain miles no matter what you do. Only way it wouldn't is if I don't drive it, and if I don't drive it I'm not going to college. He's the one paying the tuition bill so it'll be his wasted money simple as that. I'm 18 years old and I've been raised to be responsible and make the right decisions. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, I'm home before 6 every single ******** day and I don't go anywhere on the weekends or on days that I have off. I'm in college now. I'm a freaking adult. I thought that by going to college and driving my parents would actually start to treat me like an adult but they don't. If anything they're cracking down even more. I used to say that I was a prisoner in my own house. I'd go to school and come home and not do anything else. Then I became mobile and it was like this amazing freedom that I suddenly obtained simply because of a piece of plastic with my name and picture on it. But now, now I'm on lockdown once again. Once again all I can do is go to school and come back home. I'm not allowed to go out with my boyfriend, he's rarely allowed to come over to our house, I don't get to do anything fun and I'm running out of time. Things will only get more intense from here and I won't have the time to go out and do anything because I'll be focusing on getting my Doctorate in Physical Therapy. I'm giving up two summers so that I can reach that final destination a year sooner. I want my time to live and have fun. I don't know what to do...all I can do is try to focus on the future at this point. Everything I do now will be for my future. I just really wish that somewhere between that I get time to live in the here and now instead of planning for how I will live seven years from now...





 
 
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