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1. Take half a critical mass of plutonium back to meet itself.
2. Infest the timestream with time-beavers.
3. Shoot the gunsmith.
4. Take one end of a space-time wormhole and throw it into the other end.
5. Release cloned Michael Crichtons into the Jurassic.
6. Organise a mutual infanticide pact.
7. Prevent this suggestion ever being made.
8. Persuade Lewis Carroll to write "The Time Machine".
9. Abduct your grandchildren and bring them up as your own kids.
10. Plant a suicide note in JFK's pocket.
11. Develop the temporal equivalent of waterskiing behind a speeding Tardis.
12. Swap Adolf Hitler and Charlie Chaplin at birth.
13. Genetically engineer yourself for maximum skill at genetic engineering.
14. Go to Hiroshima, 06-Aug-45, and run amok with a chainsaw.
15. Establish a Time Patrol Corps to prevent such frivolous tamperings with history (in 1897).
16. Find whoever coined the phrase "Time Paradox" and hand them their own skull. Repeatedly.
17. Simplify the controls on the average VCR remote by substituting chronoscopy for television.
18. Steal Schrödinger's cat.
19. Sell ten-year-old yoghurt without contravening its "best before" date.
20. Park your Time Machine on the Turin Shroud and travel backwards to see where it really came from.

Originally from here.