SunBeamFlavoredTacos
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The knife sits, waiting.
It sits under my pillow, waiting for the time I use it again.
For the pain I have, the pain I take;
As I sit there and take it, it grows;
boiling inside me, I can't wait, to come home, to make the first cut in months;
To feel that beautiful relief.
The door slams, staring at my pillow were underneath the waiting knife lies.
I walk to the bed lay my head down.
Slowly, my hand slides, on the bed under the pillow.
Grasping the knives handle I slide it out.
Sitting up is hard, but I manage;
I balance the blade on my fingers, staring at the waiting knife.
tears roll out, I run my fingers over my wrist and sigh.
Millions of thoughts, running through my head, Can I?
Should I? No one will care, no one will notice! do it!
I glide the blade over my skin; up and down my wrist; contemplating.
I take a breath and angle the knife upwards as I stop on where I will cut;
The fear of cutting too deep; The hope of cutting too deep; The wonder.
Makes me hesitate.
I shake my head as another few tears roll down-
The beginning cut, It stings; It feels so good; It hurts; I can't stop, The relief is amazing.
I missed this, The pain, the relief,
All of the pain, the bullshit, the lies, Gone, for the moments the knife is making the cut.
The struggling smile as tears are rolling, Still manages to make its way out of the frown.
I drop the knife on the bed, and drop my arm; bloody wrist; teary eyes; smiling face.
My satisfaction
I've gotten the satisfaction for now, sliding the bloody knife under my pillow; I walk away.
It sits under my pillow, waiting for the time I use it again.
For the pain I have, the pain I take;
As I sit there and take it, it grows;
boiling inside me, I can't wait, to come home, to make the first cut in months;
To feel that beautiful relief.
The door slams, staring at my pillow were underneath the waiting knife lies.
I walk to the bed lay my head down.
Slowly, my hand slides, on the bed under the pillow.
Grasping the knives handle I slide it out.
Sitting up is hard, but I manage;
I balance the blade on my fingers, staring at the waiting knife.
tears roll out, I run my fingers over my wrist and sigh.
Millions of thoughts, running through my head, Can I?
Should I? No one will care, no one will notice! do it!
I glide the blade over my skin; up and down my wrist; contemplating.
I take a breath and angle the knife upwards as I stop on where I will cut;
The fear of cutting too deep; The hope of cutting too deep; The wonder.
Makes me hesitate.
I shake my head as another few tears roll down-
The beginning cut, It stings; It feels so good; It hurts; I can't stop, The relief is amazing.
I missed this, The pain, the relief,
All of the pain, the bullshit, the lies, Gone, for the moments the knife is making the cut.
The struggling smile as tears are rolling, Still manages to make its way out of the frown.
I drop the knife on the bed, and drop my arm; bloody wrist; teary eyes; smiling face.
My satisfaction
I've gotten the satisfaction for now, sliding the bloody knife under my pillow; I walk away.
