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i've already decided
Owari/ elle est morte
ok, i tried to type this yesterday and my stupid computer went back a page without my consent because it does that sometimes...damn old a** piece of junk..
anyway, a lot more work went into the one i typed yesterday than the one im going to type now. this will just be more of a summary than an in-depth descrip.
my life has gone so far down the toilet since my last journal entry and im sure my few readers think i fell in a hole or something..
ok, after my granny passed, i never went back to the modeling thing.
my mother and brother both got sick and hospitalized after my bday in 09 and my brother was there from feb til april, he spent his b-day in there...
then in like may/june 09 my mom found out she had non-small cell lung cancer in both of her already underdevloped lungs. major suckage.
she under went chemo after that (in july) which made her feel like crap at first but it got much better after that.
i turned 21 in feb 2010 and my sisters and mom and fiance got together and threw me an awesome surprise party, it was great.
my fiance moved out in april and i helped him get a really nice apt for good money in a good neighborhood.
we went to maryland in july for our annual family reunion, we'd never been there before and i got to help drive the rental van for the first time ever. so awesome right? it was the biggest van we had ever had!
though, mom got sick while we were there and we lost a whole day to travel.
a week after we got back, mom went to the hospital instead of going to her chemo.
she had fluid build up due to the cancer which they helped her with but they said would never really go away.
then her oncologist (cancer doctor) said he didnt think they should continue with her latest chemo because the side effects were out weighing the benefits. i argued with him about it but he finally proved his point.
he said we had exhausted all of our options and we should begin end of life care....wtf..
so we did. she went to hospice for a week so we could learn what to do and then she came home. im not even sure how long she was here at home but its where she said she wanted to be.
we took care of her around the clock. ill spare the details i included in the original version.
7am monday morning august 16, 2010 my mom passed away in our living room.
one day before me and my fiance's 6 year anniversary.
one day before the 2 year anniversary of my granny's death.
talk about your crap right? it gets worse.
the morning of my moms funeral, my sister goes to her apt to find the screen cut out of the window and her tv, and some other stuff are missing. it was frickin awful.
then a little while after that, my granny's house which had just recently become my sisters house, was robbed and destroyed for copper piping. they ripped out walls and sh*t, like wtf?!?
don't worry, it gets better!
then a little while after that, the pcp pipe on our furnace catches fire and fills the whole house with a suffocating chemical smell and black smoke and soot. we had to stay at a hotel for a week.
get's better still..
my sister can't find the home owners insurance for the house to pay for the damages....damn..
and then around new years, my cousin calls me to tell me that my car that had been in my granny's drive way for 2 years (it broke down) had had it's front driver's side window busted out! yay! thats so mother frickin awesome i can barley stand it!
while all this crap is going on, i still can't get a job, i applied to at least 7 places and nothing..
now, that it's the new year, our luck just keeps getting better..
my sister has found out that our 'house' that we've been living in for almost 30 years may not actually be 'our' house since about 2006 but no one has said anything about it...again ladies and gentlemen i say, wtf?
so, as you can see, my life has become an american tragedy.
ill be turning 22 in less than a month and i can't even afford my 45 dollar cell phone bill right now...
on the plus side, ill be turning 22 in a month! and my fiance might be getting promoted at his job! let's have a yay for him!! im super proud. heart
wow, this is long. i'm sorry. you don't have to read all of this and if you read far enough to read that then thanks, it means a lot.
i guess im done now, don't really have anymore positives for the story..well, none of us are hurt physically...
ok, bye.



Come my way
kono yami no hotori
Come close to me
ima akari tomoshi
I'll be with you, I'll be with you
tada soba ni iru kara
So come my way

kizuite anata wa kono sekai de
tada hirtori dake no taisetsu




User Comments: [1] [add]
ninjabbehrens
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Mon Jan 31, 2011 @ 06:54am
I am sorry. But I have been there for most of it. Though this is more introspective than you talk to me about it sometimes. Love you.


User Comments: [1] [add]
 
 
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