In my life i've been trying to find the rite love for me but everytime i find the rite one he etheir takes control over me or be depress to much or be a player and im left out in the cold in a dark hole but its hard wen u see tht special person again and u wanna tell them u love them and u cant because it hurts alot and it hard wen u get bak together with them and u try to work things out wit tht person and then u see the pattern happens again and u dont wanna end tht relationship with them because u love them to much for tht three guys i dated is josh ryan1 and ryan2
josh was a very nice person wen i met him he was charming and i thought he could be the one but then he cheated on me and cheated again on his gf then cheated again on his gf and now is dating his sister and then he talked down on me and now im really hurt by tht.
ryan1 was a really cool person he trusted and loved me and he was a great bf but he didnt give me the protection tht i needed but he had a very loving nature and we didnt work out because i felt tht he wasnt the one for me.
ryan2 he was over protective and was controling and was smuthering me and i didnt lik it but i trusted and loved him always and i did lik tht he had the protection tht i needed but then my mind step in and told me tht i couldnt keep kissing his a** to be his gf but thts the only i could make him happy wen we broke up i had a nervous break down a major one it drove me crazy tht he wasnt there by my side anymore.
ryan1 and i manage to get bak together but it made josh jealous and i was jealous of ryan2 gf and i had to live with my decisons so i had to do wat i had to do so i oved on but now im going through my past and it hurt me because all the ppl i loved is now hating me and i regreting everything tht i did and it hurts me more than anything because im emotional and sensitive and it hurts me to the heart if someone i respect and love talks down on me.
well thts the end on wat i had on my mind at the time.
see ya next time.
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