I look into the mirror, my hair is pretty. I like my hair.
That's not completely true...
I love the way it looks when it covers half my face. It's kinda sad, but pretty. I sweep my hair back then place it back over my shoulders before walking back to the room.
I wish I could give people a peek into my mind. It's not okay. I mean, I tell everyone I'm fine.
But I'm not. I work on turning my computer around so I can lie in bed as I type up my thoughts and listen to a movie. I hadn't given much thought to which movie I would like to see but I had grabbed Ferris Bueler's Day Off and the double movie American Beauty and Virgin Suicides. I had been craving Ferris Bueler's Day Off for a while now. The movie I had just watched, Manic, had left me a little... uneasy. I just didn't know what I wanted to do. I wasn't really tired. I had only told Juna that cause I was hoping that I could go to sleep if I had said it.
I lie to everyone. I lie continuously.
[********. I am miserable.
The big white screen hurts me eyes. I was lonely. I'm never going to be alright. The only remedies are to medicate and god knows how much money. My skin heats up and I feel a rage build momentarily. I focus on the movie to push it out of mind. Life sucks. Now all I can think about it the movie and typing. This isn't real anymore. ASDLKFL [/ throws a table] GOD DAMMIT. [/ sigh]
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Fragmented Self who wanders through life like a dreamer and wades through the river of dreams as though it were the only truth left in this world