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Status: "Forget yesterday ... forget everything. Remember tonight, today, and tomorrow"

-offline- I'm leaving my avatar like that. See ya c': (not happy tears ^^; but I'm not sad enough to put a clear frown o ~ o;; )

I wasn't going to abandon this account (and I'm not going to, like I always thought) but something occurred to me. It doesn't matter. Because it can't harm me, it's trivial. But I don't want to log on for a long while. I have school in the fall like everyone else, no one's ever online during summers so it's depressing, and I don't need to log on. I thought it would be horrible to leave, since it would look like I'm not replying anyone, but it's not the same view when I wouldn't be able to reply anyone because I'd be busy "offline". Now, I'm sorry to the two friends I actually talked to while I was on here, Pancake and Ranka. I want to talk to you, and online's the only way, if I'm not going to be logged on =( That's why I don't want to leave. It's annoying. Anyway, talk to you guys later.

To anyone who wants to know, which....can only be, like, I don't know, less than ten people because my Friend List is full of roleplayers and friends. This entry is public, so out of all the strangers and roleplayers, the small percentage ... you understand what I mean. I made a second main account because I don't want to (and can't because I like it) change my profile background. I won't post on it, I don't think, like I do for this one, because of my reasons for internet safety (posting on comments where you can't delete your comments yourself). I may post, but I don't know. The second main is different from this one .. for reasons. For instance, I can't cosplay as myself on this account cause it's kind of boring, and useless if no one cares, (anything is useless if no one is interested ._. ) so I wanted to make one. I don't mean to exclude anyone, I don't want to, but the friend list on there is like a physical list for me of people I keep as true friends. If I added a new friend on there, no matter how close we are, it conflicts with my list thing o.o I can add a good online friend, yeah? But it wouldn't make sense ...

The people on that list are the friends away from inperson (like "home away from home" wink . They are whom I consider real life friends that I contact through online means because that's the only way we can talk. If I added a person who's not like that to me, because there's a difference between the friendships and bonds of online friends and those kinds of friends, it wouldn't make sense. I usually never exclude anyone, and no one's ever online from that group of friends either, so it's a huge depressing cloud looming over my mains. Whenever I log on, no one's online. (Where is everyone? </3) It's strange and disliked.

-sighs- Anyway, I'm done talking. Thanks for listening. I'll be on one of my nine accounts. It's just this account I'm not going to be on for a while.


Kiyori Mikura (main)
Kiyo Mikura (second main)
(I know, I couldn't think of a name; the meaning is still okay without the 'ri'!
Keeping my name but making it different was difficult.
I wasn't going for "KIY0RI MIKURA' with a zero < < ... It looks bad.)

Miku - Vocaloid 01 (Vocaloid)
Lonely Momo (Peach Girl)
Worried Taiwan (Axis Powers Hetalia) (Previously Taiwan Loves You)

Independent Lydia Carlton (Earl and Fairy/Hakushaku to Yōsei)
Fierce Taijiya Sango (Inu-Yasha) (new account for my 2006-2008 RP charac)
Beautiful Moka (Rosario + Vampire)
Aloof Mizore (Rosario +Vampire)

[I saw RV three years ago so = o = ..... Yeah. I was never affected by any of the -waves hand- that thing, the subtle *that adjective I can't write or say (I even think of the idea of the word, and not the word itself)* suggestions. It's like watching something a kid doesn't understand, the kid will just watch through it without any reaction. It's like expletives; one hears it around one but one is untouched. Same thing.]

I was randomly wondering if this is what happens when you hide your feelings. Not correct, but an interesting thought. You bury your feelings. You ignore them. You distract yourself, in the meanwhile, while you move on at the same time, but in rare cases, *it's* silently eating you from the inside until your body physically results, making you notice ... that something's wrong? Nooo. Lol. Well -Tenth Doctor's head tilt- yes, it happens, it can happen, but not in my case. I hide my sadness. I know this. I've always done it and, frankly, I don't think I can stop, but that was just info for you.

I've lost enough.

Now, this is weird. I'm fine in real life. ._. That's why I'm sure it's a sudden annoying and troublesome "reaction" that'll cease to exist later.

I've lost enough ... and I'm tired from it. My girls are lonely. More loss. I don't know whether Hetalia has died or not so Taiwan isn't ... exactly talking to anyone. Miku never could find a family and she kind of can't anyway (do you know how hard it is? Taiwan never found one either and I actually forgot about it until this moment O - o ... awww Dx). Momo, no one knows of Peach Girl!! She was the most hopeless before Lydia; I felt sad whenever Momo logged in. (And Lydia now too).

Moka and Mizore don't really have a group yet. I don't really roleplay. Strangely, I feel uncomfortable with all my characters except Sango. I don't have to know anything before logging on as Sango; guess it's lucky we're similar. Moka is a close second, as is Mizore, but I don't feel like working;;;. Continuing with the loss, a Gaia Tsukune likes Moka but the person behind the account personally prefers Mizore. That's fine, but it felt like an insult to me. Everyone in Rosario + Vampire knows it's Tsukune x Moka and Mizore knows this; she matures about her feelings for Tsukune. It felt like a slap to me that he likes Mizore, which would mean Tsukune x Mizore, which goes against the reality of the series, and thus, hurts my head. (and heart) I'm not "battling myself" (don't you dare go there; I only brought it up first in case you were thinking it). Like I said, Mizore knows who's going to be with who. It just ... kind of messed with my head. I didn't need to know his ooc preference. It's not bad because I'm a mix of Moka and Mizore, but it's hurtful, isn't it? A sweet girl and - wham, someone prefers someone else. Who's actually ... kind of the same .____. .................. Mizore-- Wait, I don't need to explain. "I'm like Outer Moka and Mizore" is enough to know the faint primary image about what kind of person I am: sweet, caring, gentle, tsundere when having trouble trusting, shy, thoughtful, kind. Fuuun ; u; (Not so fun being two people)

Mizore loses; Moka loses; Sango almost lost hope in finding a monk, not that that's pleasurable - - (Oh, no, it's a horrible reply of six years ago where I tried to find, well) I want to find a group; I'm just new for now and no one knows. No one's logged on either so it's tough to find anyone.

Excluding my mains, that's all my seven accounts and the girls are all alone. You would think I'm okay, lol, but I can only endure so much in one period, regardless of my strength. Too much concentration has dire consequences.

Because of that loss, that extreme loneliness when added together, it subconsciously revived and reminded me of emptiness in the past and I had this random change of mind. Weird = ^ = It's a pain, but -shrugs- might as well go with it, live through it, and come out past it u o u.

Oh, nice idea for a title. It reminds me of a FMA: Brotherhood video I love! (I have this Brotherhood playlist full of videos, put together in a good order by me. The videos are amazing. I'll show you sometime!)

WE'RE EMPTY (8'D -reminded of the amazing pathos in this!!! TT v TT-)

Maybe I'm trying, trying too hard. Maybe I'm torn apart. Maybe the timing is beating my heart. (can't even admit the next line Dx)

(Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. Theme: Never give up. Darn, now I want to watch it a third time. I started and finished it during the summer two summers ago, then watched it a summer ago, forgetting I saw it the summer before, lol, and this summer, I was busy with Bleach and One Piece so I didn't feel like it after it was still fresh in my mind 8'D)

Maybe I'm trying too hard. I tend to try hard when it comes to vulnerability (yuck) ... and the result doesn't need to be explained. Moving on! I'm in too much of a happy and FMA mood ~ Have to show the playlist! heart


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