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Holidays.

A time of mixed emotions at best is all I can say about these. Times to spend with family and friends and be happy for what we have. To cherish the friendship we have made and the family that have seen us thru the year. Times to give and receive or as I do simply remember times of old. For me the holiday's have always been a very very mixed emotion as I do enjoy spending time with family. I also remember before I had this family to spend it with when I was younger and the only person I ever spent my holidays with was a caring old woman I had looked on to as my grandmother for many many years of my life. A woman who passed away from my life at the end of my freshman year of high school and took with her a large part of my heart. So while my friends and even my current family celebrates christmas, thanksgiving, and all the other family holidays I simply prefer to sit to myself and remember days spent with the old woman who thought of me even in her advanced age as her son. Love and cared for me when no one else would and who in the end I in my own mind some what turned his back on. I will not go into details about the last part nor explain this post to anyone that asks. Simply know that some of us tho we may hold smiles and laugh as we if we are perfectly fine know that this may just be nothing more then a front. For me atleast this is the case as I let myself fall into a dispair I know this woman would not want to see me in. One that she if still around would hug me and tell me things will be fine and to keep being me. This post is for her and partially for me to help keep her memory alive so that I never forget what she gave for me.