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I wish I wasn't blind
I wish I could see with these eyes
but my mind
just can't seem to comprehend half of what I see
what I hear
what I say.
Don't you wish you could kill me some days?
Maybe I'm just not meant to know,
to stay in the dark,
Like a child ditched in the park.

Maybe what ever runs this terrible show
this horrible parade
This sickening game
Has decided to hate me,
to destain my very existence.
And seal away
that clairvoyant sense I used to have.
My senses are dulled
My brain dying out.

And some days I look in the mirror
and it seems to shout back,
"Look at that pathetic girl
She thinks she can change herself
Pathetic pathetic girl, she'll go for a whirl.
Down the drain,
Such a sad story."
Truth is I don't even see
how I could be relatively anything.
Beautiful, smart, funny, kind..
let alone any type of amazing.
I can't even save a friend.
I keep failing and failing in the end.

So maybe it's time to focus on myself for now,
so when someone comes and asks me "how?"
I'll be able to save them.