Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I've always been that girl in the back of the room
covered by walls
surrounded in sound
but barely breathing
caught by the pain
slowly suffocating
Not knowing what she needs
I've always been the girl
with the egnimatic center
and plain boring covers
The girl who's always got a thing to say
but doesn't say it because she thinks it means nothing
The one that's always been chastised
Always downsized
the one who blends in to the lockers
the one with others who constantly mock her
The one with the chocolate brown hair
and crystal blue eyes
the one who isn't plain
but still isn't special enough to shine


But what I want to become
is the girl who you're proud of
who'll stand in front of the crowd
let her voice rise up
who'll jump in front of a bullet
without a second thought
and take it through the heart
just to protect you.
I want to be the girl
who you're not afraid to say
"hey there she is"
The one
who you're not afraid to hold hands with
and tell everyone who she is.
I want to be that million dollar girl
just for you
with the bright hair
and attention-grabbing eyes.
I want to be beautiful
I want to be brave
I want to be everything
You could ever possibly want.


I'll train a million years
and spend a million dollars
and fall a million times
if it would make me worth while
worth the love you give to me,
love I'm fumbling to return
in the same strength.
I'm so afraid
that my broken and brittle heart
my crumbling and destroyed mind
won't be enough
compared to all those girls.
So I cross my heart
and hope to die;
that I will never let you go
not for anything
and if you were to leave me
I'd need the morphine
I hope you leave at my door
to keep me slightly sane
or it'll be this poor brittle, boring, girl
who will be slowly
painfully
slain.