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dark lighting's Journal
just anything really
im so sick in how i am always used, hurt, playwith
Im so sick in how im always used by my fam never less by women i know irl or more so on the internet. or online my heart gets played all the ******** time to the point im a reck, and my heart hurts so god dam much because it seems like women rather play with someones heart or use them to get what they way just for fun and when they nolonger get what they want or never do they seem to love to damage u even more. im not the type to buy someones love, or in this case items. and because of this alot of girls i met just leave or vansh after they had there feel hurting me.
i feel so used everytime, to the point i have nothing holding me down, i have no ancers ...nothing. the few women i did hope would stay around just god off vanish like i never meant a dam to them. im so hurting so much irl i can barley take anything anymore. im random cry out of nowhere or get in exstream depression comes out of nowhere when i see 2 ppl or even worse a guy having more then 1 never less 2. it always kills me. to the point from all of this i keep getting abandonment dreams now witch always hit me hard which makes my depression even more worse. im slowly leaving gaya just cz i cant stand the pain and hurt anymore. i do relise when i do i will b crushed among other things but its something that has to. i tryed to flirt still and stuff but eh.. i even gave my number to many ppl and only 1 seems to call.. but soon when i l;eave gaya i wont be even able to do that since irl i have no longer calling and no cell, im to poor... on ssi and dissablity..
i been called many thing but the thing that hurt me the most was being called a cyborg from this 1 b***h because i told her what i was borin with. not my fall nd she seemed to make it seem some kind of joke and hurt me lots with it.. im dieing inside and i no irl most ppl wont miss me or even remember me.

nuff about my crabby life that no 1 cares about. im just stating this as my offacle notice im slowly moving away from gaia into more time on video sites like utube orplaying more more on my 360 (zombiehunter220) or pc gaming on steam (zombiehunter220)

i might be on once every other week to the point im nolonger on but anyway if any1 did care thats 2 ways to message me, im thunderlord2300(at)hotmail.com

im sry for thos i have hurt from my times on gaia and the way i have changed i lost some turly best friends and found 1 thats a wolf girl (=P) shes been a true friend to me. and 1 of my longist i have had sofar. i know how my ways are and how i changed and im sry for hurtting ppl more offten more so now the ever. u will all b in my heart one way or another or the ones that hurt me dear i hope and i curse u all to die a painfull death... for the ones that caused me to get to this point. im not a strong man. im to senstive en loving to a point.. ppl wonder y i hate or treat ppl how i do its from how i because from me suffering and pain and nights i have to cry my self asleep because it hurts so much.





 
 
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