Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

well shite... this is the longest I've been on gaia in a long time. Might as well write some crap. Not that I really think anyone will see this. This is for me. I will look back one day, read this, and laugh at how misguided I was. Let's talk about that math test Emily. You thought you'd passed with flying colors? FOOL! you got a 60% just barely passing. unacceptable. disgraceful. Why am I doing this. I don't blog well. My life is boring. I'll complain the whole time, that's it. That's really it. I guess, I'm attempting to lose weight. 213 pounds. That's what I weigh. I'm told I don't look more than a 180 though, so that's a start, I guess? I'm kinda tall, I hold my weight well. But that doesn't change the fact that I am clinically over weight and I hate it. So we've begun the torture of counting calories. I've done alright so far-- though it hasn't even been a week yet. for my age and hight, I should be 150 or under, so I've got a ways, but it's definitely doable. I've come to terms with my weight, really, but I've always wondered what it would be like to be thin. Would that make me prettier? Would people like me more? I don't know. I've always been a nice person, I guess, people seem to like me well enough. I just... I think the thing I'm most self-conscious of is my neck, because I have a round face, so double chins look like, five times worse and much more noticeable on me than with others. Like, it's the first thing I see in photos of me. So that is my #1 thing to try and lose. If I could do that, I would be loads more confident. For realzies. But like, I'm already pretty confident. I know who I am, what I like, and where I want to go (kinda). Theater really helped me come out of my shell, and develop massively helpful skills in public speaking and confidence in talking with others and appearing over all much more outgoing. I can only imagine I'd be quite the zealous monster if I had the added confidence of not looking like a walrus in every picture I took. Despite the confidence I have so lovingly sowed the past three years, I am still a lovely introvert at heart. I can only take so much of big groups. Some of my favorite time is spent alone, just... doing nothing. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends. I love being with them, but being alone is what recharges me. Anyways, I think I'm done with this typing thing. How do you turn this thing off? I don't know... don't really care.
dun.