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Today I was visiting my cousins house in the temperate locales of Darwin. My uncle opens the gate and warmly invites me onto his wonderful lawn. Now as I was strolling towards his house I unwittingly stepped inside the radius of the chain that kept his killer... whatever the hell kinda dog it was (all I know is that it's big and it's nasty). At that time I didn't notice it on account that it was sleeping... not for long though. Before I could say "Ho SHT" the blood crazed beast from hell leapt up and took hold of my thigh. So I'm hammering away at its head as my uncle's dashing towards us. Luckily I was wearing some loose cargo shorts so it's fangs kinda slipped off after a while leaving no lasting damage.

... Whew... I think that thing has lockjaw capabilities...