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i have done it. it wasnt easy. but i told him no i promised him i would leave him alone and leave that answer at that. 5 years of my life. searching through this ******** computer of everything and anything from those 5 years. deleting and slowly erasing him from my mind. he will always be my friend but those are the only memories i must keep. conversations from when we first met and talked. the whole process of us getting to know each other of me falling in-love with him. from us breaking up and the things that brought us back together again. the joy of my life. the pictures of him. not deleting him from like media places but got ride of those conversations. with no hope of getting those back. i dont plan to turn back to him if he comes back. part of me wants him to the other part wants to run from him. i fear that i am the cause of all the problems. which i am. but i hope one day he views me at least as a friend again. hes the type of person i feel if i left that he would make no effort to call me. i feel there was nothing ever really there. out side our relationship. he pushed it all away. i got to close. one day he will accept someone who comes to him with open arms i guess hes just too young and hasnt reach that point in his life yet. as much as i wish it was me its not. i can accept that i tried and its not like i gave up cuz i did try but when you see the pain that you are causing sometimes you just have to let it go. the damage is done it crippled him and now i must pay the price for that and that just might mean losing him as a friend as well. but hes my roommate and i must up hold my ends of at least living here so till that day the sun shines no more we shall see where this broken old fox will end up.
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