Quote:
From: An anonymous benefactor
Message: It's just before 10, and the moon is bright.
You stand grumbling to yourself,
Not a thing has gone right.
"Where am I now?"
You turn lost in the cold,
Wondering where you lost sight of that long winding road.
Through the dark and the fog you find a dark forest,
With towering trees and screeching owls raining down their chorus.
Then suddenly, light appears and the symphony goes silent.
Two hands grab you tight, spinning you so violent.
You see two glowing eyes, as red as spilled blood,
Shining above long pointed fangs. You think 'Oh crud.'
A vampire has you held in his grasp,
Whispering rubbish in a fast moving rasp.
He tries to hypnotize you but his words are all wrong,
Sounding instead like he's reciting some forlorn song.
"I want your blood!" He states more like a plea.
You laugh, thinking just how easy it would be to break free.
Before he can bite you, you fling him away.
He falls to the ground, crying out in his pain.
"Why'd you do that?" He whimpers, licking his wounds.
You scratch your head stupified from the words of this loon.
"You've ripped my cape!" He holds it in dismay.
"Now how can I frighten all the little children away?"
You let out a laugh as you begin to depart.
"Stop!" he cries, "Please have some heart!"
"I'm new at this." The vampire explains with a blush.
"Alas, I must be the worst vampire of the bunch."
He sighs a little, pulling out a box,
Wrapped in orange paper as bright as a fox.
"If I give you a gift, would you kindly keep mum,
Of your encounter tonight with the worst vampiric one?"
You take the gift and then watch him disappear into the night,
Still astounded with the vampire who just couldn't get it right.
-Mind the Vamps!,
From the World's Worst Vampire
Message: It's just before 10, and the moon is bright.
You stand grumbling to yourself,
Not a thing has gone right.
"Where am I now?"
You turn lost in the cold,
Wondering where you lost sight of that long winding road.
Through the dark and the fog you find a dark forest,
With towering trees and screeching owls raining down their chorus.
Then suddenly, light appears and the symphony goes silent.
Two hands grab you tight, spinning you so violent.
You see two glowing eyes, as red as spilled blood,
Shining above long pointed fangs. You think 'Oh crud.'
A vampire has you held in his grasp,
Whispering rubbish in a fast moving rasp.
He tries to hypnotize you but his words are all wrong,
Sounding instead like he's reciting some forlorn song.
"I want your blood!" He states more like a plea.
You laugh, thinking just how easy it would be to break free.
Before he can bite you, you fling him away.
He falls to the ground, crying out in his pain.
"Why'd you do that?" He whimpers, licking his wounds.
You scratch your head stupified from the words of this loon.
"You've ripped my cape!" He holds it in dismay.
"Now how can I frighten all the little children away?"
You let out a laugh as you begin to depart.
"Stop!" he cries, "Please have some heart!"
"I'm new at this." The vampire explains with a blush.
"Alas, I must be the worst vampire of the bunch."
He sighs a little, pulling out a box,
Wrapped in orange paper as bright as a fox.
"If I give you a gift, would you kindly keep mum,
Of your encounter tonight with the worst vampiric one?"
You take the gift and then watch him disappear into the night,
Still astounded with the vampire who just couldn't get it right.
-Mind the Vamps!,
From the World's Worst Vampire
