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Gods..... Thank you.... Your amazing... Not even five minutes... Your good...

So get this.. After being a snoop and seeing my lying whore of an ex did exactly as I said she would EVEN after she said it would never happen plus having everything she said debunked by a certain person (Whom I might add, I thought was a lying sack of s**t in the first place).....

Whoa....

Waaaaay off topic...

So like... This is odd... So, from the beginning with my ex I knew who she was and put faith in her blah blah blah blah blah... This one tho.... I thought.... No... It wasn't... I've never felt this...I thought I did SEVEN years ago when I met my ex but no.... This was much more intense.. The fire... The pulse as our eyes met... I know her... Where do I know her....... And I love how simple it was.... How have I blinded myself to only that...... Girl....

She is my clerk... Never have our eye's met.. Always looking to my cigs, the candy on the shelf, the doohickey which makes a Bzzzzzz... Heh heh... But never to her... Scared, afraid, nervous, or was it her? Was it.... Has it been her? My ex, always in the back of my mind... Telling me she's mine and no one else? Making me feel bad for being with another? Wow, that's what ruined me and Serenity.... I never let her go.. Always thinking of her....

But now...... Those eyes... Those furiously passionate eyes... So much light inside her... Nothing I've seen before.... And her jokes.... She makes me laugh without trying, its been forever since a women could do that... To top it off, she makes it a point to make me smile... Teara was the last person to do that sadly..... So long ago.... But still....

Look at my record... No one ends up giving a s**t about me... ALL of them use me and throw me away when done... So how can something as worthless as me be anything more then a waste? I have a wonderful job that is much better then anything I've ever really dreamed I've have.. Once Dilber is out of the hospital I can finally return to it.. How is it I'm so worthless to women? For real.... I know I'm not the sexiest, but now I have cash.... A house and a car for gods sake... I'm done with the party scene, I want a real family... I truly wish I knew why.....

Anyways, we're going to take it slow.. I'm taking her to this awesome restaurant where they have a dance floor... Slow music, just how I like.. Hold her close as we slowly glide across the dance floor... I digress... Its better slow and steady then jumping into something stupid.. Plus, I'm still hurting over... Her... I'd hate to hurt her because of a rebound situation..

Wish me luck all you crazy peeps!!