I grow so easily attached. And it really isn't fair. It doesn't matter whether it is a person or an animal, I get attached really easy and when something happens, it breaks my heart slightly. Whether it is a person leaving my life by choice, or if death is the sad barrier between me and the one I am attached to, it always ends up with an insane amount of pain on my end.
Today I found one of my pets laying in my backyard. He wasn't breathing. At first I thought he was asleep so I went about cleaning the backyard. I was doing yard work and my grandma and I were planting grass seeds. After a while, my grandma noticed something was off. She looked at me and tilted her head, asking if he was breathing. I, of course, said yes and that he was just asleep. But after a few moments of my grandma looking at him, she broke the news that Clowd wasn't alive.
I don't know what it is about animals, but it is so easy to grow attached to them. I constantly find myself falling in love with animals, even moreso than with people. As soon as I realized what happened, I was crushed. Clowd was one of my favorite cats. Out of the seven that I own, he greeted me every day when I came home. And everyday I would yell out "Clowdy Clowd!" which is an inside joke between my family and I.
It's just crazy to believe that pets can have such a great impact on me. It's funny to think that, in most cases, I like to be surrounded by my pets than by people. This journal was really just a rant to get things off my chest. I am going to miss Clowd, and he died way to soon. Why he died, I have no idea. But, I am going to miss him. And writing it down helps me deal with that just a little bit.
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