sweatdrop I realized that I am truly alone in most things in my life. I can't really call alot of people my friends or even close ones, except maybe like 5 people including my best friend, my onee-chan! No one really wants to call me, almost all the time I am the one who does the calling, or communicating. I even went so far as to go to chat rooms just to talk to someone, to have some kind of human contact that didn't have to do with my family, especially my parents, very specifically my dad!!!
Not that going to chat rooms are bad, I just usualy want to talk on AIM. But lately, no one wants to seem to talk to me, not even the guy I was dating. I know that it's my fault in some way or another. I think I complained to many times again or talked about my family too much, or more personal problems like money or something trivial compared to everyone else's problems.
Maybe getting a new start at new college will help me to grow up more and be a better person, not some whining brat. Finally become the person my parents expect me to be and make them proud. I know I should just become my own self, but I don't like who I am right now, except my hobby of anime and manga and fanfiction. I'm so imature in the view of my family, i'm still 12 to them, but I haven't exactly help matters. sweatdrop
Oh well, I'll just have to deal with my decisions and make the best of my life.
Even though it feels like it will never be my own. That i will have to keep my life orbting around my parents and take care of them like they are doing for me now hwne I am able too especially in the coming ten years, eve if i have that much time! cry
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~*~ Thoughts Of the Standstill Being ~*~
~ A repository of my thoughts when my emotions are at their maximum ~
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