There's not much I can do anymore. I can't help but blame myself if Raymond looses his job. I wanted him to come with me to my aunt's house so I wouldn't be alone. My selfishness might yet again cost him work...and that bothers me so much.
I'm also tired of the fact that I have to wait for things to happen. I know things don't happen overnight, but after waiting years and years one would think that some progress was made...which there was. I have made so much progress since September it scares me. But I can't wait to go out and have a good time, again and again. But I can't help but feel as if I am only dragging people down with my ideas, and what I have to say.
Its just so confusing...it hurts. I want to say everything, but it'll come out all wrong. Only online does it come out right. For some reason if I speak to someone about anything that is bothering me, it always feels like my troubles are worth nothing at all, and how silly it actually is.
Its just how I feel, and well it sucks.
I want to feel better so badly, and I want everything bad to take a vacation forever. A break is needed...a long one, and I don't think Winter Break is enough, since I doubt I will see my friends then. Most of my break will consist of a** sitting and even more a** sitting.
I need to stop feeling this way. x_x Or better yet, I need to keep these feelings to myself. Dammit.
Well...happy face time.
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Stupid-no-Jutsu : The art of being stupid.
Finally released in a totally unabridged format.
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