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"Things are so...different now"

No s**t sherlock. A change such as that will make things different.

Bah.

Don't look for it, it will come to you.

If you don't look for it, you will not get what you desire.

A double sided sword, no matter where you touch, you get cut. I've always sat idly by and let things happen, or never lifted a finger for fear that the worst outcome will occur. So, I've changed my outlook and actually started being more well, forceful in terms of getting what I want. I decided upon a soul, and now I've got to work to accquire it. I've got to do this, not because I wish to have a person who likes me, but to prove to myself that I can go out there and do something I never thought I could do. It will make me less likely to freak out in the future, and be less shy doing it.

I know I'll get hurt, my competition in the game is a girl who is younger than me, yet more expirenced in dating and intimacy than I am. I've got issues with intimacy as well as air tight morals on the subject of sex. I know there are people that will overlook me due to those morals, but that doesn't mean I will loosen them to suit their needs. If someone likes you for who you are and they truly care about you, they will get to know you and build trust before trying to press the subject of sex. Most guys my age will easily take the slut over me.

And I guess I'm slowly coming to grips with such things. I'm not ugly, nor am I fat. Apparently the guys at work think I have a lovely body, and that is putting it lightly. They're more vulgar in their choice of words. They're just scared of my opinions and morals.

Feh, be true to oneself and the good shall come.

The good needs to come real soon.