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So, we managed to get a home and move back in together. Shortly after that I got pregnant and had a baby. This is where problems started.

I am in love with two people. My husband and my best friend who also happens to be my sister in law. My sister in law is in love with me and my husband. My husband loves me and my SIL. Problem is my SIL loves and is still married to my brother.

They don't have the best relationship. He is a a** who thinks mostly of himself. When he gets paid he pays the Bills but then every extra cent is called play money. Food? That is me and my husband, or my SIL if she has had work lately. Somethings goes wrong or breaks in the house. Better hope me and my husband have the money to fix it.

He is super picky and is never grateful. Dinner ready? He always complaines that it isnt what he wants or she disnt do it right. I can not count the times I have had to go get him other food because what was prepared was not to his tastes. He has so many diet restrictions that we are all sick of what he will dein to eat. He never thanks us for anything never says wow the house looks good. Why? Because all of this is a womans job and should not have to be thanked for doing. And yet if my SIL gets a job she will still have to cook and clean when she gets home because his is "harder" and he is still the Male.

He doesn't drive himself anywhere. Every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday my SIL better be ready to go where he wants and eat what he wants. If she doesn't want to or if he doesn't have money he gets moody and takes it out on everyone.

He is always angry and always hides in his room when he gets home. So is it a wonder that the three of us kinda became a unit and fell for each other?

That being said I do love my brother and I hate when he is hurting. Which is why today has me feeling like I'm falling and I dont know how to right myself. He asked her a couple of questions and she answered honestly.

Yes she wants a divorce because of many reasons that have nothing to do with me or my husband. Yes she is in love with the both of us and blah blah blah. Well she does still love him and told him so but he is a staunch believer you cant fall for that many people and still love the other. So he isnt sure there is anything to save. He feels betrayed and isolated.

Here is my problems. I selfishly want him to divorce her so that my husband and I can have her and treat her right. On the other hand I want him to be happy as well so I want them to be able to fix it.

I was happy with our house. My brother, SIL, husband, niece, and daughter had a wonderful dynamic on his good days. He feels betrayed by me cause I didnt tell him anything. She is my best friend I would have been betraying her too. He wont come put of the room.

Now I am free falling.
Will they divorce?
Will the move out?
Will he move out or will she?
Will he ever forgive me?
Will my niece be okay?
Will he tell our mom everything?
Will she forgive me?
Will she still talk to me?
Will she still love me?
If he commits suicide like he's threatened will they blame us all?
Will they forgive.me when I stand by SIL and husband?
Will they still let the girls visit?
Will I lose all of my family?
Will we.form the triad we want?
Will niece understand?
Will she forgive us?
Will our family understand?
Will they ostracize us?
Will SIL have the kids she wants will husband help?
If brother does something stupid will SIL stay with us?
Will she forgive herself and us for our part?
Will my niece?
Will we tell her?
Will we tell family truth or let them think it's the divorce only?

I am spiraling down down down and I dont know where the end is. I want to escape but there is nowhere to go. I want to bury my head and the sand. I want to disappear. I want..I want I want...everything..I want nothing...I want...i can't breathe..nothing will ever be the same again..the future is unknown and I am afraid..