Sometimes ghosts from our past brings relief with their memory. Tonight I am more in touch with who I am, what I have done and what I am yet suppose to do. This is a feeling that comes to me too frequently anymore, but it never fails to inspire. I wish I could hug this ghost, before he tucks himself into sleep, and let him know how much he has helped me this night to feel better.
But, knowing how ghost are, I think he already knows how much he means to me, as ghosts tend to watch over those they love.
In all this thinking this evening I was able to sit outside tonight and enjoy the fresh air for a change. You may not think thats such a big deal. But it is for an agoraphobic. There are many days I would break down and cry, if not for the fact that I am trying to stay positive and keep my spirits up about dealing with something so life altering, because I cannot get outside the way eveyone else does many times during their day. Others come and go, opening their doors and stepping outside without so much a thought otherwise. I truly wish it were that easy for me. I always hope one day it will be.
If you suffer from this, I know it's hard and frightening to consider the prospect of but, try sitting outside in the dark of night. If you have a screened in porch or secluded steps at your back door it's nice. For some reason I feel safer on my porch in the dark, than I do walking around in broad daylight. And it always helps me to get outside.
On a lighter note...
As you can tell by my previous words, it's summer where I live. The fireflies are out in force. Have you lately sat outside and watched them as they light up and accend upward into the night sky?
This never fails to bring out the child in me.
 Irahatam · Sun Jul 09, 2006 @ 06:08am · 0 Comments |
