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Today is my last day of packing and then its off traveling to my college! cat_eek cat_eek cat_eek I'm so stressed I could scream!!!! cat_gonk I'm still doing some laundry and then I have to pack all my clothes up and finalize my boxes ughughughugh.. cat_rolleyes it's been hard to sleep recently, i keep thinking about everything that could go wrong. cat_scream I'm so worried I won't make any friends lol. emotion_dowant or that my professors will suck or that i wont have anything to eat and ill pass out in class and die lol (that part i am seriously worried about... what if the food sucks??? what if the food areas are only open when i'm busy??). bigger questions like, HOW DO I SHOP FOR ANYTHING. i dont have any school supplies except for what i had last year for high school so i'm hoping i'll have enough of that for a while, but seriously, how do i get more? i dont have a car nor can i drive so its not like i can go to target, and bookstore prices are nutz. cat_eek cat_eek tbh i am pretty nervous about not being able to drive anywhere, i'm pretty much just stuck on campus.

as for food... all first years are required to be on the unlimited food plan (EXPENSIVE) and i dont have money to be spending outside of it... WHAT IF IM HUNGRY AND NEED A SNACK WHAT THEN?? do ppl order food on amazon?? i cant live on granola bars i need fruits!!! what if i get scurvy?? what if all they have is breads and pasta and i dont get enough protein??? a perfect meal for me is a chicken breast and dark green salad, what am i gonna do?? also i get stressed so easily like i dont even know. what will i do during test seasons?? what if i binge?? what if i cant make it??

my only saviour in all of this is the keurig my sister got me for my birthday. such a ******** blessing. no matter what i can have my coffee every morning at least. its actually my best friend and closest confidant tbh. i told my roomate i'm bringing it but i dont actually want her to use it lol (what if she breaks it??? or worse USES MY COFFEE scream ) i'm such a bad person lol. i'm also bringing at least 2 packs of gum so i think i should be okay? but yeah, no scales (maybe i should buy one? like for food, and i can whip it out during dining periods?). and i guess publicly i'll be saying i'm vegan.. except i literally live on yogurt and chicken so that'll be interesting. why the hell would anyone care what i eat though? but i'm worried someone will.

what i'm most worried about is college sucking just like high school, i guess. I never did anything in high school. i have 1 friend i care and love but we never really do or did anything. all those high school memories i wanted so badly i feel i've missed out on and i really want college to be a good experience, especially since its so ******** expensive. i want to do well in classes and socially but i'm worried i'll just get overwhelmed and shut down, like last year. i dont want to be that person anymore. i want to be normal. i want to have fun and like living, even during winter. i purposely picked a college somewhere warm so that its not the terrible winter like what i have up here, 4pm sunset and constant snowing, made me want to off myself. even so, that period will still be the end of a semester so it'll still be stressful. so yeah. i'm worried. i have so many things i want to do these next for years and i'm nervous i wont be able to achieve them. like casual life milestones, like making friends or having a first kiss, MY SIMS ARE BETTER AT LIFE THAN ME.

and i'm worried because i'm so stressed right now and i'm not even doing anything. i'm just packing. what will i do when i have grades on the line?