The following is conversation I had with someone I found randomly in towns. He is my grandpa now.
~Color-coded for your convenience
New Vogue Child: GRANDPA!
New Vogue Child: I thought you were dead D:
Wikipedia: No.
Wikipedia: The heart surgery was awful though.
New Vogue Child: D: Yeah..I bet iot was even worse when they took your cornea
Wikipedia: Oh tenfold that.
New Vogue Child: Organ donors cards are terrible things to have when the coroner thinks you're dead
Wikipedia: Yeah.
Wikipedia: They took every major organ except my brain.
New Vogue Child: surprised
Wikipedia: Now I life off of radiation.
Wikipedia: See?
New Vogue Child: I'm sorry to hear that...D:
Wikipedia: Dx
New Vogue Child: But Grandma wil be happy she can get laid again
Wikipedia: GAH!
New Vogue Child: xD
New Vogue Child: Fell asleep in the bush again, silly Grandpa
Wikipedia: What about my tapioca?
Wikipedia: No.
New Vogue Child: I think there's tapioca on your pants.... D:
Wikipedia: NOO!
Wikipedia: Who's talking?
New Vogue Child: I knew she was a beetle.
New Vogue Child: Just knew it.
Wikipedia: Oh.
Wikipedia: It's back!
New Vogue Child: Eeeeek!!
Wikipedia: The beetle turned into a human?
New Vogue Child: Yeah. o.O;; Someone must'ave kissed it
Wikipedia: So that's what tasted like chicken...
New Vogue Child: I thought that was the tapioca D:
Wikipedia: D:
New Vogue Child: You were after a fly too, eh?
Wikipedia: That was a fly?
Wikipedia: I thought that was a dollar.
New Vogue Child: Yep... little things are flies
Wikipedia: Oh yeah. Old grandpa is a demon now.
Wikipedia: *eats soul*
New Vogue Child: That's ok. I killed Jesus and took his clothes
Wikipedia: Yummy.
Wikipedia: He owes me money...
New Vogue Child: Then it's a good thing I took his wallet >>
Wikipedia: How's the poor guy anyways?
New Vogue Child: -hands a $5-
New Vogue Child: He was doin pretty good... Till he died
Wikipedia: Thank you.
Wikipedia: Yeah.
New Vogue Child: Yeah..that multimilion dollar religion thing was really working for him
Wikipedia: Didn't he start Enron?
New Vogue Child: You know, I think he did
Wikipedia: Dx
New Vogue Child: But he tried to use the soul shredder for documents...
New Vogue Child: And that fowled up, so it became the "CEO"
Wikipedia: So what ever happened to the soul shredder.
Wikipedia: Did Satan buy it?
New Vogue Child: I think so. Probably getting raped right now , too
Wikipedia: Poor Hitler. He sent me a postcard from Hell.
New Vogue Child: Really? I havn't heard from him in weeks
Wikipedia: Satan has been sodomizing him lately.
New Vogue Child: But weren't they getting married next month?
Wikipedia: Yeah. Hitler even became emo.
New Vogue Child: Ah. No wonder he's being punished
Wikipedia: Yeah. He said he was going to become Budhist too.
New Vogue Child: Kinda' late now, don't you think? I don't think there's room for used goods on that sevenfold path
Wikipedia: Yeah. I tried telling him.
New Vogue Child: Next he'll be trying to get with Vishnu D:
Wikipedia: Yeah. I think he's been good and is moving to Purgatory,
Wikipedia: But the Cerberus's aren't happy.
Wikipedia: No more chew toy.
New Vogue Child: I don't imagine they would be...
Wikipedia: Where's my pie?
New Vogue Child: You ate it, Grandpa D:
New Vogue Child: There's a pie stain next to the tapioca
Wikipedia: D;
Wikipedia: So how is Buddha?
New Vogue Child: He's been losing weight! That Atkins guy being dead is doing wnoders for fitness up there
Wikipedia: I see. And what of Genghis Khan? Didn't he try Subway?
New Vogue Child: No, but I think he found company in Valhalla
Wikipedia: Oh. Is it Thor who went on that diet?
New Vogue Child: Zeus.
Wikipedia: Oh. I thought he would would be on Atkins.
New Vogue Child: No, the King has been nominated for godhood, though.
Wikipedia: I see. But which one? Elvis?
New Vogue Child: No, he's being held comfortably with the old Pharoes of Memphis. o.O;
Wikipedia: Oh. Speaking of that what about Tut? How's he?
New Vogue Child: Still immature as ever. XO
Wikipedia: I thought he would grow up.
Wikipedia: Is Henry still trying to get a son?
New Vogue Child: No, sadly... He's stull busy sending plagues to people who have his artifacts
Wikipedia: Henry is sending plagues?
New Vogue Child: Why yes.
Wikipedia: HAs he got a son finally?
New Vogue Child: He tried to adopt, but got bored and ate the kid
Wikipedia: Oh.
New Vogue Child: Good times...good times
Wikipedia: So how are his eight wives? They beating him up?
New Vogue Child: No, he's moved on to number nine... I think he finally found his match with that succubus
Wikipedia: Oh yes, I remeber the wedding.
Wikipedia: She bit his head off.
New Vogue Child: And oh, what a beautiful wedding it was
Wikipedia: What of Achilles?
New Vogue Child: Leg amputated. He's walking on a titanium replacement
Wikipedia: Oh. Didn't he sue Paris?
New Vogue Child: He tried, but it was thrown out of court...He was rather rude about the whole ordeal
Wikipedia: I see.
New Vogue Child: Yet you have no eyes
Wikipedia: Yeah. God gave me this halo thst makes me an eye.
Wikipedia: However it doesn't work very well.
New Vogue Child: I'm not suprised
Wikipedia: Yeah ever since the divorce...
Wikipedia: Mary sued him for rape...
New Vogue Child: It's not her fault, I don't see how she could stand him either
New Vogue Child: He's always been cheap
Wikipedia: Yeah. I think she got Purgatory.
Wikipedia: Or was that Eden?
New Vogue Child: Isn't Eden where he sent the mormons though? To get them out of his hair?
Wikipedia: Oh Yeah.
Wikipedia: So did Jesus go with God or with Mary?
New Vogue Child: He's still on the run from the Enron incident. It takes a lot of work even for him to cover up.
New Vogue Child: ...needed more nails
Wikipedia: Oh. Did Eve finally get that Divorce from Adam?
New Vogue Child: No, he murdered her to get his rib back
New Vogue Child: Doin 5-10...hundred
Wikipedia: Oh. So he is with Lilith or whatever her name was now?
Wikipedia: You know the one trying to kill Eve.
New Vogue Child: Actually, no. She's a lesbian now
Wikipedia: Oh. With who?
New Vogue Child: ..With Eve, ironically enough
Wikipedia: I see.
New Vogue Child: Apperently, she's a necro
Wikipedia: Oh.
Wikipedia: So what about Attilin the Hun?
New Vogue Child: No one's heard from him... Ever sinse that falling-out he had with Genghis, you know...
Wikipedia: Oh.
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At that point, I had to go. gonk
Community Member
xd xd xd xd xd
Niice.