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I cried again last night. I just got to thinking about how to explain that I would be missing the entire day of school on January 4th to my teachers on the 3rd when we go to see my dad off at the airport.

After that I thought about how my dad's 'good bye potluck' at the clinic he works at went. He just explained to everyone and answered questions about where he was going and what he was doing and he said someone asked him what kind of emotions you go through in preparing to leave and he said "Lots of things...but mostly I worry about missing my family." and he got all choked up. I did too but I was too embarassed to cry...I dunno...

But last night I guess I just broke down. Only my younger sister heard me and she came into my room and asked what was wrong and I said nothing so she left. Everyone else seems to be taking it better than me...

Maybe it's cause I've known him the longest...(not including my mom)

Or because the longest he's ever been away was two weeks...

Or because I'm not strong enough...

What really got me going though was we were watching some of our recent videos that my dad captured on his digital video camera and it came to my cabaret performance with my select chorus group at school and he said "I was so proud of my daughter..." when we were watching it.

Okay...I gotta stop now cause I'm about to cry again...

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