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No your not.. sad Your a great person, and you want the right things in a relationship.. just people tend to lie about what they want, and not be honest about what they feel. They don't "protect" you when they betray you.

It's his loss, not yours. stressed Where are you meeting all these back stabbing guys? O_o You'd think that at least one of them would feel comfortable being yours eek

Er.. you talk about every guy you meet wanting a fling with you.. that they don't believe in old fashioned values like long term commitment, after marriage, etc.. You must be dating the wrong type of guys that are looking for immature stuff.

In response to what you said earlier, I think all the men that hit on you are likely looking for sex.. but there are alot of men that don't hit on girls. I never do in person.. I'm too insecure about it being exactly what you said - some sort of short term fling that only ends up making me feel like crap.

Your friends are likely fine with being open, and switching boyfriends every once in awhile.. but your not.. you enjoy that closeness, it makes you feel confident, and loved - and just having fun with a guy is not enough - but sometimes you think it is. You need to seriously reconsider what a relationship means to you, and understand that men are very different than women.

A guy can say he loves a girl just because of what she wears or what she looks like - but it's vanity. You want something deeper than that. Deeper than just an impression, and with the right sort of guy who isn't obsessed with getting into a girls' pants. It's very sophisticated to get those things that you want. But getting them from guys that are always fixated on your body is not going to get you anywhere.

Your very accepting of guys, because you think you can fix them.. no different than what I've felt about women. I can make them change, I can make them feel secure. But after several breakups that where serious.. I've learned that's not the case.. You can't push someone to be something special, unless that's what they truely want. Your afraid of commitment, but you envy what other women have. You have to choose what you want, and stick with it.

Either you don't trust men, and you give them the lust side of things to get the attention you want. Or you become vulnerable to a man you trust. Neither is easy. but you can't choose both. And apparently.. you can't choose neither. If you don't trust a guy.. you need to find out why, and what it means. xp

You need time to heal.. you need to choose true friends that aren't just interested in good times, because they can abandon you, while true friends will try to sympathetic to how you feel, or what you need in life. You need time to think, to understand, it may hurt knowing that someone you feel attracted to doesn't want the same things as you.. but sometimes you have to let go, sometimes you have to be firm in what you want, and refuse anything else.

Although honestly.. I find it ironic that a guy like me has to tell you anything.. I always thought women had it much easier than guys, even the nice ones >< Oh.. and stop ignoring my messages.. grr! stare

*gnaw*

I don't ignore your messages, in fact I read every single one. Lately I haven't had the time to actually respond to any message anyone has sent me.

You do have a point, and to be quite honest I don't know where I find these guys either. Every single guy I have liked or even gotten close to wants the same exact thing I am not willing to give up on the first date, or even meeting. The guys I want are either all taken, or not in this country or even lifetime. I'm afraid of commitment, but at the same time I wish for someone to actually like me for me, and not my a**. (I'm dead serious) Its just the ones I want want what I am not willing to give. They'll dump me the moment they get what they want, and I'd rather not end up in that place right away.

A few of my friends even admit that they'd rather be with their boyfriends than me, and that really does make me feel like s**t. I'm only there for when their boyfriends are busy - some friends eh? Maybe I wanted a boyfriend so I wouldn't have to deal with them anymore, but at the same time I want someone to care for me on a deeper level than what a friend can do. Guys in my age group are stereotypically drawn to the sex factor, and less of the emotional factor. The ones that want a more emotional based relationship are either taken, or gay, or too damn shy to say hello.

Either way I'm ********, so its in a bad place. I've got to lose something to gain the knowlege I seek, even if its not the answer I'm hoping for.

Oh.. well.. I was being cranky.. I read your message late at night.. oO sorry if I seem sorta possessive >< You are hoping that a great guy is going to ask you out. But that rarely happens.. if at all.. most guys that are asking girls out are assertive because they know what they want, and it's rarely anything long term. You need to understand that, and consider the possibility that sometimes you will have to analyze a guy, and consider if he's worth talking to. Not all guys are taken. Most of the good ones are taken just because someone found them first, and didn't let them go. xP Every guy is going to be attracted to you physically.. I mean.. that's the idea of a guy being straight.. unless you feel really attracted to gay guys.. or bi's.. which I really wouldn't reccomend. Men that just want to sex you up are not going to give you that healthy relationship you want. Although.. I won't deny that you might have fun dating one that feels that way about you. Again.. your going to have to either regress to wanting short term stuff, or dealing with the idea of being stuck with just one guy, and having to trust him. Boyfriends are fun to be with.. and usually involve love.. you can't expect yourself to be better than that.. imagine.. if you had a boyfriend you really liked.. how much would you want him? Less than your friends? It's the same with me.. a girlfriend should probably be near the most important person in my entire life. You shouldn't feel bad just because they feel so connected with a guy - that's entirely natural - although.. some guys aren't worth loving >.> Ironically I have the same thing to say about 20ish woman around my age. They tend to want to casually date a guy like me. Have me drive them places, pay for things, and give them a fun time. They abhore the idea of anything more serious than a once-a-week dating thing. I also feel sorta cheated by how fastly it can change into one of those fling things.. I think a relationship should evolve into not only passion, but something that involves alot of friendship - a close friend.. I almost never get that far with women. They tend to think I'm either too argumentive, or too intimidating on some level. I fit with shy, or perhaps just plain cautious. I've tried before telling a girl that I like her, or that I want to know her. Generally I get rejected, cheated on, or laughed at. It's not that I lack the skills neccessary to get into a relationship.. I've been with one girl for 4 years before we couldn't date anymore. The issue is that most women think that men should be confident dating women, and doing specific things that makes them feel comfortable with the whole dating scene. The problem is.. I don't want to be a player, and I am vengefully against being like every other guy out there hiding what I feel with lies just so I can get closer to a girl I think I like. As soon as I get more comfortable with dating.. I won't be sophisicated, or different.. I'll be the same as an ordinary guy that passes through women looking for the primitive things. And that freaks me out. I refuse to go to bars to make girls happy knowing that "I'm a stud" of some sort. I take relationships dead serious. And that has scared more than one girl. It's different.. and I think there are alot of women saying they want long term things. But then.. saying that it's "too complicated", "their head hurts", "too many arguments", "you make me cry too much", etc.. I don't get it at all. Real relationships are emotional, complicated, and very different.. don't expect common media in society to present to you the "perfect" lip-locking relationship - it's hardly real, or hardly passionate.. By denying yourself the depth of something unique, serious, and pratically obsessive.. your are denying yourself of the chance of ever being romantically involved with a man that you might marry someday. I'd like to point out that there are alot of girls and guys that feel physically attracted, figure out that they can't really get anyone better, and end up getting all "married" because they feel those lusts will overcome any issues.. it doesn't.. and that's why I think America has a huge divorce rate - nobody gives a damn about open communications. If I tell you that I feel jealous that you spend time with your friends, first thing that usually happens is defense mode.. when it's just me being honest.. and wanting to fix it somehow.. Seems like I have that issue more than anything else.. the opening up, and being vulnerable. It's not like guys are freaked out by doing that too.. Most of them don't even bother being that way, because they can only imagine what it'd be like making babies with some chic.. Again.. It's what you want that determines what your going to get out of guys.