After I sent that e-mail, I felt kinda bad, after I took all my anger out, I had nothing left in me but guilt, so in her next e-mail:
you didn't have to invite me or anything. you just had to call me once in a while to talk and that would prove that. and you rejected hanging out with me multiple times, not just that one time. and i don't believe anything you wrote. i had every reason to believe that you didn't care. and everyone i vented to about this believes me. and what are you referring to [[name stricken]] and [[name stricken]]? you never talked about them before. and i may be stubborn about some things, but stubborness has nothing to do with this situation. i was hurt because it seemed like i have no friends and i'm stuck in my loser house where i can't think straight because there is always banging by phsycotic construction and i'm alone because it seemed like none of my friends wanted to hang out with me. and i'm still hurt. and i'm hurting even more every day mostly on the friend situation but because of everything else building up. so fine, if you don't want to be my friend on gaia, we won't be friends in real life either. so tomorrow, if you're going to the old settlers day, don't bother coming near the firefighters association booth. there you'll see your new "ex-friend".
I felt bad, and I didn't see her at Old Settler's Days, which is a festival in my town which she no longer lives in but comes to Old Settler's Days to work at the Firefighters booth cause her dads a firefighter, so at first i didn't know what she was talking about there, and then I sent her this e-mail, apologizing:
Listen Melanie, I didn't mean to be so harsh, I was just pissed off about something and you just pissed me off more, and I'm just to lazy to call anyone, literally, and I was standing up for [[name stricken]] and [[name stricken]] and myself and I didn't bring them up anytime sooner because I knew you would get pissed off at me and at them more than you already are. And I went to Old Settlers Days every day and I didn't see you there once. Don't you have friends at your new school? Why are you so worried about your old friends? And I'm still wondering, what did you send me? That Monday, and why were you so mad that I didn't respond? What was it about? And if that's the way you feel, then fine. I guess we're not friends anymore, but if you change your mind, I've still got your picture on my shelf. I'll be friends with you, and I'm sorry about w/e I did that made you mad, and about that last e-mail ((like I said, I was already pissed about something)) But if you don't forgive me, I'll understand. Lauren PS- [[name stricken]] said she was sorry, why didn't you forgive her? I can guarantee you that she meant it. Honestly.
That's basically my way of apologizing, so then I got another e-mail from her:
What were you standing up for [[name stricken]] and [[name stricken]] for? And I would'nt get pissed off if we talked about them. It just depends on what we say. I was with the firefighters on Sunday from 4:00-10:00 pm. And I wasn't always at the booth. I had to sell raffle tickets and sometimes I left to play games with my friend Andrew. And of course I have friends at my new school but for most, I haven't talked to them since the last day of school and most of them I can't talk to because I have no way of communicating with them. And I'm worried because they're supposed to be my friends. They're better than the people at Belvidere. With them, I'm in my comfort zone but I haven't been able to be safe in soooo long and I miss it. And I thought that you didn't want to be friends first because you put me on your ignored list on gaia and you didn't seem like you cared about us being friends by skimming over my questions about it. And it's hard for me to forgive someone right away because in 8 years of school, I've had to forgive people a lot and if I do forgive them, the relationship is just as screwy. Britney may have appoligized for the Lazer Quest thing but she never did for her party last year and it's the principle of the thing. I'm the only one she didn't invite and that hurt because I thought that she was my friend. It's happened to me before. And before, I just let it slide. And it turned out badly.
Ignore the [[name stricken]] thing, that's a different situation.
I'll tell more tomorrow, but you're probably getting tired of reading these long e-mails.
blaskbabi13 · Thu Aug 24, 2006 @ 12:11am · 0 Comments |