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look, i want to. but i can't be friends to someone that never talks to me.
^ her next e-mail, and I was like, ((in my head of course)), wtf? I talk to her, and I just said I'm not good at carrying a good phone conversation.
So I said:
we can talk on here. I'm just not very good at talking on the phone... idk how to carry on a conversation that well.
So then she said:
that wouldn't be enough for me. it's like a long distance relationship. they don't work.
I knew right away that's a bunch of bull. It might seem like it's not for her, but I have a friend that I used to live next to before I moved to where I live now and when I moved, we kept in touch and we're still friends, so then when I went to send her an e-mail, my computer wouldn't let me send it, so then I sent her another one:
Okay my computer wouldn't let me reply to your last e-mail for some reason, but anyway that's okay. If you want to be friends ever again just e-mail me or call me, that's fine with me.
I was saying that it's fine if she doesn't want to be friends, and if she ever needed help or wanted to be friends again to just call me or e-mail me I just forgot to put that other part in there.
i said that i want this to blow over somewhat but i don't think that i can be friends with someone who doesn't talk to me. it's like a long distance relationship. they don't work. and sure, i could call you, talk and whatnot. but you should be the better person too and call me and hang out with me because i shouldn't be the only one tyring.
Then I sent her this:
I understand what you said, I'm just saying that if you ever need someone to talk to, you can still call me or e-mail me anytime. I'll be there.
then she says:
but apparantly that doesn't work both ways?
More with my next entry.
 blaskbabi13 · Thu Aug 31, 2006 @ 11:41pm · 0 Comments |
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So I replied in this e-mail:
hm... I didn't see you there. well I guess I thought you would get mad... and the reason I put you on my ignored list is because you were being mean to me, and I didn't like it, I mean, who would? And I don't remember you letting the Brittney thing slide... what do you mean by that?
So then she replied:
you weren't being a holly-jolly santa either. and i was pissed. and the situation with me and britney happened to me before and before i let it slide and it turned out badly that way.
And I knew that I wasn't being in her words, "a holly-jolly santa" ((seriously, who says that?)) and I didn't understand at first, so, being nice as possible, I said:
Yeah I know, but I didn't know what you were talking about and you accused me of something I didn't do, and I still don't know what I did, by the way what did I do? What did you let slide?
And the thing she accused me of was that she sent me an e-mail and that I didn't send anything back, but I didn't get anything from her before that, unless it was chainmail, which I don't remember, and then later on, she accused dancedance of not sending her an e-mail, but dancedance didn't get ANYTHING, so we knew by now this was a total lie, and that she's just a lying bored pathetic person that accuses her friends of something when they actually didn't do anything ((says quite a few unnamed girls from my school, so I hear)) when she's bored with her life. So then I got this e-mail:
i wasn't accusing you of anything that i know of. and it's what you didn't do and if you haven't paid attention to anything i've ever said on gaia or in e-mails... the situation with me and britney regarding her party last year happened to me before with allison leach. i didn't get mad at her for me being the only one not invited to her party. then she never really talked to me again after that. and i realized that she wasn't really my friend. but i got really upset before because i was losing my close friend and i didn't let britney off the hook because i didn't want to go through that pain again.
she's obviously lying, which is pathetic, so then I sent her this:
Oh, well, i didn't hear anything about you and allison, but you don't have to tell me. But if you didn't accuse me of anything, then why are we in this situation?
So I thought we were good cause I WAS truly sorry, but she doesn't believe crap, so then she sent me this e-mail:
ok, i thought that you were talking about those last e-mails. you haven't been a very good friend to me. you don't know about anything that is going on in my life. did you know that my best friend/cousin got in an accident, was taken to the hospital, is still there as far as i know, most likely needs stitches, can't walk for a long time and will be in a wheelchair for some time? no. do you know about all the drama happening at my house because of the hick construction workers? no. did you know that one of my supposed "friends" lied to me, her mom, and God? no. do you know anything about the situation with my dad, mom, me, and church on sundays? no. do you know that my aunt and my 2 cousins have banished me and my mom and everything that has to do with us because she's jealous and will only talk to my other aunt? no. you don't know anything about my life.
Then I felt really bad, so I apologized:
I'm sorry,<<-- See? apology! it's just that I'm just not good at carrying on a conversation,<<-- Honest truth and it's kind of awkward. So that's why I don't call you. Can we stop being mean to each other and just be friends again?
And the next part in my next entry.
blaskbabi13 · Thu Aug 24, 2006 @ 10:04pm · 0 Comments |
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The next part of the story... |
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After I sent that e-mail, I felt kinda bad, after I took all my anger out, I had nothing left in me but guilt, so in her next e-mail:
you didn't have to invite me or anything. you just had to call me once in a while to talk and that would prove that. and you rejected hanging out with me multiple times, not just that one time. and i don't believe anything you wrote. i had every reason to believe that you didn't care. and everyone i vented to about this believes me. and what are you referring to [[name stricken]] and [[name stricken]]? you never talked about them before. and i may be stubborn about some things, but stubborness has nothing to do with this situation. i was hurt because it seemed like i have no friends and i'm stuck in my loser house where i can't think straight because there is always banging by phsycotic construction and i'm alone because it seemed like none of my friends wanted to hang out with me. and i'm still hurt. and i'm hurting even more every day mostly on the friend situation but because of everything else building up. so fine, if you don't want to be my friend on gaia, we won't be friends in real life either. so tomorrow, if you're going to the old settlers day, don't bother coming near the firefighters association booth. there you'll see your new "ex-friend".
I felt bad, and I didn't see her at Old Settler's Days, which is a festival in my town which she no longer lives in but comes to Old Settler's Days to work at the Firefighters booth cause her dads a firefighter, so at first i didn't know what she was talking about there, and then I sent her this e-mail, apologizing:
Listen Melanie, I didn't mean to be so harsh, I was just pissed off about something and you just pissed me off more, and I'm just to lazy to call anyone, literally, and I was standing up for [[name stricken]] and [[name stricken]] and myself and I didn't bring them up anytime sooner because I knew you would get pissed off at me and at them more than you already are. And I went to Old Settlers Days every day and I didn't see you there once. Don't you have friends at your new school? Why are you so worried about your old friends? And I'm still wondering, what did you send me? That Monday, and why were you so mad that I didn't respond? What was it about? And if that's the way you feel, then fine. I guess we're not friends anymore, but if you change your mind, I've still got your picture on my shelf. I'll be friends with you, and I'm sorry about w/e I did that made you mad, and about that last e-mail ((like I said, I was already pissed about something)) But if you don't forgive me, I'll understand.
Lauren
PS- [[name stricken]] said she was sorry, why didn't you forgive her? I can guarantee you that she meant it. Honestly.
That's basically my way of apologizing, so then I got another e-mail from her:
What were you standing up for [[name stricken]] and [[name stricken]] for? And I would'nt get pissed off if we talked about them. It just depends on what we say. I was with the firefighters on Sunday from 4:00-10:00 pm. And I wasn't always at the booth. I had to sell raffle tickets and sometimes I left to play games with my friend Andrew. And of course I have friends at my new school but for most, I haven't talked to them since the last day of school and most of them I can't talk to because I have no way of communicating with them. And I'm worried because they're supposed to be my friends. They're better than the people at Belvidere. With them, I'm in my comfort zone but I haven't been able to be safe in soooo long and I miss it. And I thought that you didn't want to be friends first because you put me on your ignored list on gaia and you didn't seem like you cared about us being friends by skimming over my questions about it. And it's hard for me to forgive someone right away because in 8 years of school, I've had to forgive people a lot and if I do forgive them, the relationship is just as screwy. Britney may have appoligized for the Lazer Quest thing but she never did for her party last year and it's the principle of the thing. I'm the only one she didn't invite and that hurt because I thought that she was my friend. It's happened to me before. And before, I just let it slide. And it turned out badly.
Ignore the [[name stricken]] thing, that's a different situation.
I'll tell more tomorrow, but you're probably getting tired of reading these long e-mails.
blaskbabi13 · Thu Aug 24, 2006 @ 12:11am · 0 Comments |
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The story of me, melierox123, dancedance7593, and KT coolie |
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Well, it all started out one day when I logged on to Gaia and I, as usual had mail. I hadn't been on to check my mail in a couple of days because my grandma had just passed. So I saw melie's PM clicked on it first, cause I know her in real life and it obviously was important. I didn't save it, but it basically said this:
"I sent you mail on monday, and you didn't reply so that shows that you really don't care and if you don't care then you're not my friend."
But the thing is, I didn't get anything, so I didn't know what I did. So I apologized to her for w/e I did and said that I hadn't been on in a while and I didn't get anything. So then she was all
"You didn't get it? Typical excuse."
See, I've known melie for a while and I know she picks fights a lot, so I tried to explain, but her big stubborn head got in the way ((Sarcasm, her heads actually not that big)) so eventually after a while, I just got sick of it and blocked her on both my Gaia accounts.
But as stubborn as she is, she wouldn't give up! So she sent me an e-mail saying the following:
so on gaia, you proved my point. you were on to check your mail so you would have gotten my message. and you didn't do anything wrong? that's crap and you know it. you have never thought of an idea to hang out with me because you never cared. you have never said yes to hang out with me when i thought of it because you never cared. and you ignoring me on gaia proves my point again that you've never cared about being friends with me.
And I was PRETTY pissed after she sent me this, I had been busy so I couldn't spend time with her. I wanted to, but I was busy, and if she was REALLY my friend she would understand that. See, she had invited me to stay overnight at her house, but I was going to Magic Waters the next day, so I couldn't. But there was also another reason I didn't want to. My grandma was going to die soon, and I knew that, and I was afraid if she died while I was at her house, I would mope around and I would make her feel bad, I never told her this, but its true. So I replied to this e-mail in the rudest way possible:
Okay, number one, I DIDN'T GET ANYTHING FROM YOU!!!! And number two, I was trying to explain that to you and you said that I used that as an excuse, and number three, I cared, but you apparently were trying too hard to prove no one else cared about you to notice, and no one is trying to be mean to you, and they apologize to you if they are on accident, but I guess you're too stubborn to realize that. ((And that last part I'm refering to [[name taken out]], & [[name taken out]].)) So get off my back, okay? And I tried to be your friend, and I tried being nice to you. But apparently you didn't care. And the reason I don't invite you to do anything is because I'm not that good at entertaining people and I knew you were gonna get bored, so I spared you that, and I said yes to go skating with you, I just couldn't spend the night at your house that one night, and if you believe me about all this, reply, but if you're going to say something snotty, don't bother.
Cont'd in next entry, which I'll post tomorrow.
blaskbabi13 · Tue Aug 22, 2006 @ 10:12pm · 0 Comments |
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