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Ive been thinking about the improvement in my condition as of late To those of you not in the know just let me tell you now. As you know Ive been one to avoid physical contact, citing how uncomfortable it made me as the main reason. Well, for one, uncomfortable is putting it lightly. I hated being touched by people more than the lot of you could ever hate another person. Not that it matters anymore, because for the last eight or so months Ive been okay. Yep, physical contact no longer stirs up those old feelings of hate anymore. Dont get me wrong, Im still not all touchy feely, but it doesnt bother me anymore. I think its some kind of weird side effect, but I really dont care too much.



Why the ******** am I writing this down? Im too ******** tired. Sleep, thats another good one, I can sleep better then I ever could my first eighteen years of life. Hell, even my other s**t just kinda faded, but Im not sure it was worth it. I feel muted. I cant feel s**t anymore. I dont get as angry. I dont laugh as hard. Hell, It takes more than it use to for me to shed a tear or so, but nothing seems as enjoyable as it use to either. Its like Im detached from my own emotions and I cant remember what it felt like to really be alive.



Hell, all I have these days is my hate. I use to be a hate filled b*****d, but now it seems that I can only get close to feeling like a person when Im filled with hate. I feel like I need to feed off of it. And that s**t aint healthy. I dont know where the hell Im really going with this, because as shitty as it is, I find myself caring less everyday.