Random entry before I sleep. I do enjoy this gaia also being an LJ to.
Anways. So far im just feeling depressed, and intensely lonely. I realized the entire reason I stay in AT is because it is a comfort zone to me. Im known, people honestly listen to me there ussually. Unless its a major event such as politics or people trying to be reg whores.
As for reality right now. Lonley is probbably the best description. I have no one. Its not angst, goth or whatever you want to describe it as. Its the simple knowledge that I have no one to confide in or believe in, or have a single person that honestly sees me. Yes i love my family, im not suicidal, I just feel like i have no one around thats tangible.
Just spent 76 dollars on a damn computer program behind my parents back. I love the work for your money, but if you dare spend it on something you want ill chew you out philosophy they have.
Saw Sky Captain and the world of tommorow. The movie is not as good as it is made to seem. It is though rather enjoyable from the standpoint of a person who enjoys really heroic heroes. He isnt some angst ridden, self destructive moron that America and the rest of the world seems to idolize in films and comics. Nostalgic for me, i love the old comics in where the hero actually has a good intention without having a sad sob story behind it.
Sat there and randomly was inspired to draw myself as the creature i imagined i reflected most at the moment. Its kinda poetic i guess. A phoenix, but then again, IM not the one who should know myself, im sure dozens of idiots are out there thinking that omg wtf noob. Its my fursona not yours damnit. Ashes to ashes eh? i just feel like im being smothered by reality and in general that i may overcome it. not that I have much choice though.
rather chatty today hmm? bet you didnt think i was long winded with my uber noobish posts.
Anyways I love you all. My life may be boring, Infact you may think i dont have one when i say this. but the internet is the only place that i have found real friends. Most judge me by appearance, instead of wondering what i think or feel.
great all this inner reflection has caused me to wake up somewhat.
damnit.
Thats it for now. much love you all.
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Kittens, Yarn, and one really big Sharpie.
My thoughts, emotions, and randomality. Please be respectful if you choose to respond. Its my journal not yours, your not being held hostage to read it.
so if you choose to spam, then go to heck alright?
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Dorg Endo Community Member 
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Community Member
I am sorry that stuff happened to you, but don't feel guilty about the AT. It's healthy to have an escape from reality.