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D:
I know the things I have done cannot be erased no matter how badly I wish it to. And I am also aware of my actions being thrown back into my face and labling me as a volitile person. Perhaps this is true. I am very distrubed. And what disturbs me the most is the fact that I get pointed out from a group of people that are doing the same thing as I. Its bull. I don't appreciate being the one person getting all the s**t thrown down upon. Its not fair.
I also congradulate Raymond for keeping his cool today. I couldn't. I needed someone to talk to, and I did just that. I've realized a few things today, I'm trusting people a little bit more. I can't help but always stay a few feet away. History repeats itself. So I take precautions. But also keep in mind, that I will not change just to fit a mold that I am not comfortable in. Like me for who I am. My strengths and weaknesses, and my faults. Even the deadly ones. I can do things people would never think I could do. I'm a tightened spring, ready to uncoil with amazing velocity. John, you know what I can do. So does Raymond.
But that isn't even 50% of my scary factor. Raymond hasn't even seen that. Not even my parents. Eh, what I am trying to say is, stop adding fuel to the flame right now. Honestly, I can't dwell on the problems of others right now, I need to fix my own first. I can't keep up with everything. And honestly, I need to accomplish a few of my personal goals, especially my 4.0 GPA. That means I have to do a lot of studying, reading, and perhaps a project to ensure an A+ in Latin. Everyone is stressed, and I want to be there, but I don't want to risk another emotional breakdown at Christmas. My body still hurts from that.
Right now I'm calm finally, thankfully because of my CD player and the AC Adapter I found. <3 Hoobastank. (Yes dammit.) I finally have a chance to listen to their first CD. Happiness.
What if I don't wanna hear the things you say
Where were you when I was needy yesterday
Well, I'm off to determine my workload for this month.
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