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1. Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!

2. Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.

3. I am conducting a field test of how many woman have pierced nipples.

4. I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.

5. Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?

6. Are you accepting applications for your fan club?

7. If you were a booger I'd pick you first.

8. Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

9. They call me "coffee". I grind so fine.

10. male: Hey, I don't feel to good. Female: Why? Male: I feel like I have an elephant in my stomach. Female: What? Male: (looking down) I think his truck is already sticking out.

11. Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.

12. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in

13. I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

Now i am warning you now people...these pickup lines will get you slapped!