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Pookie55's Journal
Some random thoughts and what's goin' on in my boring life. Comments are welcomed.
Ya might wanna read this... (serious stuff, nothing funny)
*sighs* I left John just yesterday.... there are many reasons why. One being that I've been feeling torn between two guys. Both of them would do anything to make me happy. D: (no lie) I loved both of them... so.. sweatdrop I thought it was finally time to make a choice.

I wasn't with John when he asked me to marry him, I was really trying to wait on someone else. The proposal was just out of the blue for me. I literally stared at the screen, unable to really grasp what I was seeing. If you've known me for a good amount of time, you'll know that I don't like to see anyone unhappy... so I said that I would marry John. I should've known that my choice was wrong right there.

Yeah, John and I got along well... it's just some of the things that he's done and said that I really don't like. We would talk about our plans for the future. When he said that he didn't want to go to college, I tried to convice him otherwise. Didn't work. stare I'm sorry, but to really make it anywhere here, you have to get a college education! And if not that, then at least go to a trade school.

I had him talk to my mother on yahoo. (okay, so my mom takes forever to type, but they had a conversation.) He lied to my mother! LIED to her! And told me about it right afterwards. gonk You don't do something like that to someone's mother! It's just rude!

It's not like I didn't enjoy talking to John, but the things that I heard from other girls... and the way that he avoided it. Eh, just makes me sick. He had other rp's going where he was a wolf and he'd flirt. I saw that and I'm like "O.O What the hell are you doin'? Am I just some sort of rp to you?!" Yeah, I got pissed. I don't like cheating... even though I have been guilty of it before. (Yeah, I know, bad poodle... no one is perfect... blah, blah, blah.) That was the reason why my first marriage failed. I had cheated. *sighs* Even though I was told that he would take me back, I couldn't live with the shame. In fact, I still feel guilty for it.

But the whole cheating thing is why I left..... I still felt tied to Mike. A part of me was always going to be with him. Then when Mike told me that he still loved me.... well, that set my mind to thinkin', did I do the right thing? Mike did try to give us (meaning John and I) our space, but we kept talking. Every time, I'd want him back.... yet I didn't feel like hurting John. Right now... I know that I had to. One thing that I refuse to do is live a lie. I won't lead anyone on, and I can't fool my heart.




This weekend, I've got a lot of work to do. There's no school this Friday, but there is the homecoming game tonight and the dance tomorrow. I've gotta work from 3-9, I have Friday off, and then I work in the morning again on Saturday and Sunday! D: *sighs* I have a huge project due on Monday, and only half of it is done. I had asked work NOT to schedule me that much this week, but I guess that they didn't listen. gonk I don't have to work at all from Monday to Wednesday.

I've already got Friday booked... gonna hang with a guy friend from work in the morning, and then go to the dance with my date. whee We're just going as friends, and he's a nice guy. I know that he won't try anything stupid. (And if he does, I'll hurt 'em! ;O Not really, I luff my geek friends too much. blaugh )



That's what's been goin' on in my life.... I'd love any comments. I get so few of 'em now. D': *sniffle*


~Cora Linette heart






User Comments: [6] [add]
Black-Love-Bite
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Thu Oct 05, 2006 @ 07:41pm
... i never cheated on you, but didnt i stop the rp once you told me to, i did, but oh well, atleast i know why, it might take me a week or two for talking to you again


commentCommented on: Fri Oct 06, 2006 @ 04:20am
stare Be glad that I'm allowing your comment to remain here... I have proof that you've cheated on other girls that you were with, what would make me any different?
*humming*
"I guess it's gonna have to hurt
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side
I guess it's gonna break me down
Like falling when you're tryin to fly
It's sad but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye."

The only thing that I'm sad about is the fact that I can't seem to shead a tear. There's no emotion left when matters come to you. Guess that I won't let my heart be hurt by you anymore. Sorry that you won't be missed by me. *shrugs*



Pookie55
Community Member
GeekKiller187
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Fri Oct 06, 2006 @ 06:50am
Ehhh sweatdrop I cant but help Feel bad for doing this But john Cheating on girls your lower then sum in my book scream stare
I sware you are an a** .. Go off and ide please And make the world a better place the one thing I cant stand is cheating Ive been cheated on befor and it hurts ..... ANd as far as me and cora GO I guess we were ment to be togther and Just one or two weeks you F@$&#xki;ng Low life Scum Just be happy I dont know ware you are B#%$@. If I did I would Kill your a**.
I love you Cora


commentCommented on: Fri Oct 06, 2006 @ 12:32pm
*sighs* right now i fele like killing my self, but thats mylife to worry about not yours, and dude, leave me alone, i tend to deal my lie my own way thank you very much

but right now, i dont care about my own life or the way i see the world, i only cheated on a few people, but not all of them, cora was on of the girls i would never cheat on, oh well, guess you have to live the fact that once someone has your heart, they keep it, like ive lotmy heart to many of people, and right now, im so lost, i just hope we can stillbe friends *nods* and and the point i dont shead a tear, maybe becuasei dont have any emosions so what, i do feel happyness, i do feel anger, i do feel sadness, but everytime i try to cry it doesnt seem to cry

ok i better leave you two alone now



Black-Love-Bite
Community Member
Marandor
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Sun Oct 08, 2006 @ 04:18pm
The way I see it: John made mistakes... you made mistakes... and the bottom line is: You're probably just not ment to be together.

And now some advice for all of you:

- Dear Cora... You just have to make a decision: Is dating over the net like actual dating, and is RPing cheating... if both are answered yes... Then you are absolutly no better then John. You and me both know that. If that is not the case, then I don't see a problem in the first place... You could just as easily say you just didn't love him as much as he loved you or that you loved another guy all along... it's more correct.

- Dear John... I don't know if you did RP with other girls or not... but if you did... you deserved this to happen. Simple as that... and if you didn't... well hey, you're single again. Now you can RP all you want.

-Dear Kyo... for the sake of humanity, shut the ******** up... she loves you, you say you love her too, you have her, so there's absolutly no reason to get at him... if he did cheat on her, then I think he already knows just how much he lost, and there's no one else to blaim but himself. Leave your ego out of it. You make it sound like she's nothing more to you then your prize.

And now let the flaming begin!
(But just so you know, every single word I said here, no matter how cold-hearted it sounds, I mean it)


commentCommented on: Sun Oct 08, 2006 @ 05:55pm
Comment!

My gawd I've missed a lot...

*huggles*

heart heart



Meyla
Community Member
User Comments: [6] [add]
 
 
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