*sighs* I left John just yesterday.... there are many reasons why. One being that I've been feeling torn between two guys. Both of them would do anything to make me happy. D: (no lie) I loved both of them... so.. sweatdrop I thought it was finally time to make a choice.
I wasn't with John when he asked me to marry him, I was really trying to wait on someone else. The proposal was just out of the blue for me. I literally stared at the screen, unable to really grasp what I was seeing. If you've known me for a good amount of time, you'll know that I don't like to see anyone unhappy... so I said that I would marry John. I should've known that my choice was wrong right there.
Yeah, John and I got along well... it's just some of the things that he's done and said that I really don't like. We would talk about our plans for the future. When he said that he didn't want to go to college, I tried to convice him otherwise. Didn't work. stare I'm sorry, but to really make it anywhere here, you have to get a college education! And if not that, then at least go to a trade school.
I had him talk to my mother on yahoo. (okay, so my mom takes forever to type, but they had a conversation.) He lied to my mother! LIED to her! And told me about it right afterwards. gonk You don't do something like that to someone's mother! It's just rude!
It's not like I didn't enjoy talking to John, but the things that I heard from other girls... and the way that he avoided it. Eh, just makes me sick. He had other rp's going where he was a wolf and he'd flirt. I saw that and I'm like "O.O What the hell are you doin'? Am I just some sort of rp to you?!" Yeah, I got pissed. I don't like cheating... even though I have been guilty of it before. (Yeah, I know, bad poodle... no one is perfect... blah, blah, blah.) That was the reason why my first marriage failed. I had cheated. *sighs* Even though I was told that he would take me back, I couldn't live with the shame. In fact, I still feel guilty for it.
But the whole cheating thing is why I left..... I still felt tied to Mike. A part of me was always going to be with him. Then when Mike told me that he still loved me.... well, that set my mind to thinkin', did I do the right thing? Mike did try to give us (meaning John and I) our space, but we kept talking. Every time, I'd want him back.... yet I didn't feel like hurting John. Right now... I know that I had to. One thing that I refuse to do is live a lie. I won't lead anyone on, and I can't fool my heart.
This weekend, I've got a lot of work to do. There's no school this Friday, but there is the homecoming game tonight and the dance tomorrow. I've gotta work from 3-9, I have Friday off, and then I work in the morning again on Saturday and Sunday! D: *sighs* I have a huge project due on Monday, and only half of it is done. I had asked work NOT to schedule me that much this week, but I guess that they didn't listen. gonk I don't have to work at all from Monday to Wednesday.
I've already got Friday booked... gonna hang with a guy friend from work in the morning, and then go to the dance with my date. whee We're just going as friends, and he's a nice guy. I know that he won't try anything stupid. (And if he does, I'll hurt 'em! ;O Not really, I luff my geek friends too much. blaugh )
That's what's been goin' on in my life.... I'd love any comments. I get so few of 'em now. D': *sniffle*
~Cora Linette heart
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Pookie55's Journal
Some random thoughts and what's goin' on in my boring life. Comments are welcomed.
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Posting in the MPT since the 300k's
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