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Love is a confusing matter.. |
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What is wrong with me?
Every guy I have ever meet I have either cared for a little or just dusted them off like they where nothing, but no not him, not Kris-chan!
I mean, I haven't talk to him in over two weeks, I mean we are friends, right? So what ends up happening, I hear he has called and I get all gitty! He is suppose to be a friend, not a boyfriend, not a guy I have loveing, I mean, true loveing feeling for. Gah!
I mean, I'm going to collage, in Savannah.. He is staying in Arizona, I can't just keep nagging anything on, even if we had a relationship(which for the first time sounds nice), it would be a hard boat to stand on with out tipping over.
Even though I realize any true relationship has it hardships and problems, after all, we are human, but for crying out loud my dear emotions, this is my best friend!
He doesn't want a girlfriend, as much has I logically don't want a boyfriend, not in this stage of the ball game, but no! Emotions chime, and here comes the welcome wagon!
Why me?!
I sometimes wish I had a mute button to my emotions, so I can like mute this feeling for him till a better time, at the same time, I know it is there because I get severally jeaouls when ever another girl looks at him in any way that goes, "You a nice looking guy."
Again, that should happen! I'm his friend, I shouldn't care if other girls flirt with him. I mean I worry over it more then my sisters love crushes and boyfriends.
Is this bad?! I don't know! I really don't know anymore. I just know what was once feelings have friendship have grown more on my end then I wanted it too and on his end, I have no clue. Better that I don't know, even though I really really want to know.
To just hear him say, "Same here." Would be nice, maybe that way it can make me think me going to Savannah and comming back, maybe, just maybe, I could, perhaps, be with him..
Gah I'm getting all sappy!!! *hides in a dark corner*
 Neva-chan · Tue Jan 18, 2005 @ 03:52am · 0 Comments |
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