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Roku_sangria's Journal
HI!!! uh, crap, im not good at this, uh, uh, yeah.....
Living nightmare
Hello Everyone, Roku here. I'm sorry about my erratic loging/logout session on sunday, I'm having a few family issues.
I guess it could be said that it started on Thursday, my sister was kicked out of her appartment for being a slob and playing her music too loud. On Friday, my school was out for Veteran's day, Mom and I went to the appaertment to retrive her stuff. After ten minutes, Jess, my sis, walked in. Basically she slept in her car in the parking lot, even though we offered her a room. I was currently bagging her clothes for her when she went into the bedroom and said she was going to sleep while we worked. Mom was working in the kitchen, washing dishes, cleaning up the piles of rotten food, while I worked in the living room, untangling cords, bagging her clothes, putting her cds in the cd breif case, and boxing up electronics when she came out yelling that she needed to turn off utilities. At that time, I began moving stuff to mom's van. In the end, she couldnt turn them all off, we went over the time limit, and the van was packed. At the house, she whined and complained, but nothing else.
Saturday. The day she decided to "Fix the computer." stare Yeah right. If it wasnt for my computer services class, the thing woulda been trashed. There was a fight between her and my parents, ending with her being banned from the thing, and my parents purchasing a hotel room for her down the street. I thought that would have been the worst of it. I was wrong.
Sunday. It started bad, it ended worse. Basically we decied to go to Walmart, mom said I should get something for helping out so much the past few days. Jess said that she wanted to go too, so she could get a charger for the cell phone we let her borrow, and a Eureka paper. Eureka is about four hours away from here, one way trip. There was a fight over the fact that we werent going to drive that far. When we got to the van, every thing waws peaceful, until Jess began to mess with the cell phone while is charged (we have one of those lighter chargers). Mom took it away from her and told her to leave it alone. Then came the third fight, wich lasteed the whole way. During which, Jess messed with the radio, and even took out a cigarette. Another thing, I may be allergic to an ingrediant in cigerettes. Last time someone smoked around me, I was unable to breathe right until a day after they left.
When we got there, Jess said that she would wait in the car. The thing that I wanted was the RA cd that came out last year, but they didnt have it, so I chose Final Fantasy XII instead while mom got the charger. When we got back to the van, it smelled like a smoking parlor. There was another fight. During that fight, Jess turned around and asked me if I ever loved her. It made me think, it made me remember things I didnt even knew I forgot.
She hit me. Everytime my parents asked, she said I fell, or bumped into somehing. I did the one thing that I thought I would have never done. I yelled back. I screamed. I called her a monster, someone whose only clear goal in life was to hurt others. She yelled at me saying that she took care of me. She did nothing. At the age of four I did the laundry while she snuck off to the movies. I cooked my own food when mom and dad werent home because she was to busy talking to her friends on the phone. All she was in my life was a dark looming figure that scared me to death. I told her that. I told her that I hated her. I ment every word. When we got home, having dropped Jess off, I went online, then went to lay down, then repeated until nine, which is curfew for me.
I went to bed, but not to sleep. I couldnt. I remembered every little thing she had ever done to me. Calling the cops on me when I wouldnt leave her alone (She had to babysit me, I was five), throwing a burnt barbie doll into my room, and saying that the boogy man was gonig to kill me soon.
I was able to get to sleep after 5:40-something (I get up t 6:20 to get ready for school.) I told mom after the alarm went off, and she told me to go back to sleep.
Is this all punishment for something I did? Is karma striking back at me for a wrong I have commited, and if so, what could I have done to deserve seventeen years of pain, fear and depression from my own flesh and blood?

~

Ugh... My sister is back, its only been a week, damn b***h spent the $200 dollars we gave her in two ******** days, and asked for more money. Now, my parents dont work any more, and we dont have alot of money to throw around. Right now, she is being really bitchy, saying that she is taking care of us. She isnt even taking care of herself. I hate her so much, why does she keep tormenting us?





 
 
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