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I woke early that morning, the scars from the night before still plagued my mind. I don’t remember much of what happened but a voice in the back of my head is still questioning my very existence.
I looked around trying to focus my eyes, where am I? I asked myself, and then it hit me, This was the place that haunted my dreams all those nights ago, a place so depraved, so forlorn that even the most unholy alliances would never set foot there, just incase their very soul was snatched from them while they slept.

Chills shivered down my spine as I scanned the darkest corners of the room. The room itself was from what it seemed a dark and mysterious place, where no one dared to enter as if they would be cursed for the rest of their living days, dust lingered in the air and the walls were covered in what appeared to be hearts of a crimson shade.
I stood up feeling dazed and confused. I didn’t understand how I had got here, how I ended up in a room I thought was only fiction, a mere image in my dreams.

Then it all came flooding back, I remembered an argument and the bottom of a self absorbing hole and finally I remembered thinking why was I put on this earth? And what the meaning of life actually was and the pain began from there on. Self inflicted pain, physically and mentally, drove me to the pit of despair as I howled out into the blackened sky hoping someone would save me from this decadent nightmare I was enduring. In the end I came to the conclusion that we were only put on this earth to suffer and the three things that life evolves around (love, emotions and meaning) only cause pain and heartbreak no matter the outcome.

Remembering this I slowly got up, sighing, and crept towards the door that was a matter of feet away, avoiding the creaking floorboards.
I reached out towards the door handle, it was dusty and covered in cobwebs, and turned it to the right, gradually opening the door I peered around the corner into the solemn hall way. At the far end stood a clock that soared towards the roof blocking out any rays of sun light that tried to pass through the netted curtains. I gasped, my eyes fixed on the clock, there was something about this clock that drew me to it. Was it the resemblance to the life I was living? Cast out and in the shadows waiting for someone to come along and break the one thing it truly needed to live, or was it just because it stood on its own, proud of what it was and where it stood.

I made my way down the notched hallway and onto the top of the stairs, carefully minding my step as my feet traced the floorboards. My heart was beating faster as I stepped down onto the first step; my mind went blank slipping into the unknown. I ran my fingers across the oak handrail that descended with the stairs, looking around, it materialised that the residence had been uninhabited for many years.
There was an eerie feeling that clung and tugged at my stomach, lingering in the air and I stumbled as I reached the bottom of the stairs.

It took my eyes a few moments to adjust to the surroundings and I looked around for a way out, the hallway was dark and gloomy and had a spine-chilling feeling to it. I turned to face the wall directly opposite the stairs and marvelled at the excellence of the artwork that graced it. I continued to walk along the hallway, minding my step as I went. I gently brushed my fingers up against the wall over the fine detailed masterpiece of art that stood proud on the wall. I stepped back to get a better look at it. It was like nothing I had ever seen yet it was vaguely familiar to me. At that moment it struck me, I had seen this artwork somewhere before, thinking for a few seconds, I realised that it was exactly the same as the landscape my late grandfather had painted for me many years ago. I paused for a few moments remembering him then turned to walk further down the hallway, it seemed to get darker as I went and out of nowhere a luminous light appeared just ahead of me. I came to a sudden halt. The light was surrounding what looked like a door and my heart raced with anticipation, I slowly crept towards it and placed my hand upon the rusty door handle, a supernatural feeling overwhelmed me and I quickly released my grip. Wondering what on earth had just happened I looked around the door trying to locate a way past. Realising that whatever stood beyond the door could release me from this house, I took a few paces back and kicked at the door hoping it would open, but it didn’t. My anticipation turned to angst and despair as it seemed there was no way out of this ghostly place, I started to panic as I kicked at the door and a tear slipped across my cheek. Desperately wanting to get to whatever was on the other side of the door, I grabbed the door handle and the same supernatural feeling came over me again, it got stronger and stronger as I carried on trying to open it.

A bright light woke me, as I stumbled to my feet and looked around, I didn’t recognise where I was but there was some sort of corroded gate in the corner of the room, all I remember is a paranormal feeling, a door and a solemn looking hallway.
The room I was now in was more avant-garde and the uncanny feeling that possessed the hallway had subsided but was still present. In the middle of the room was an old stained mahogany toy chest, with distinctive markings, that epitomised all that was mystifying about the house. On the side of the chest were the initials AJM, it was then that I realized that they were the same as mine, alexander james mochs. Curiosity got the best of me and with trepidation I decided to confront my fears and open the chest, I ran my fingers nervously across the lock as sweat poured like rain drops off my chin. I attempted to prize open the lock with my fingers but my ill thought actions were to no avail. I needed a key, but where would I find one? , I stepped back and asked myself where would I hide a key if I didn’t want anyone to gain access to the chest, the answer was staring right at me, it was obvious. I glanced around the room and noticed that one part of the wall was a darker shade of white, I swiftly walked towards the spot that seemed to be beckoning me over and inspected it carefully, I placed my palm against the darker part of the wall and felt the heat radiating off that spot, I knew I had found something but what was it?
I pushed hard against the spot and felt it slightly give way; I applied more pressure until it collapsed. I reached inside and with nervous caution felt around for something. My fingers traced across a smooth yet remotely cold surface and I gripped my fist around what seemed to be a key shaped object. Pulling my fist out of the darkened hole I saw the answer to my enigma. As I studied the key carefully I moved towards the chest and crouched down next to it. Nervously I placed the key into the lock and turned it in a clockwise motion, it clicked twice and I waited. I wanted to open it but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Counting to three in my mind I placed my fingers on the rim of the lid and thrust it open. A blank expression swept across my face as what was in the chest wasn’t what I was expecting. A single book graced the chest; the book was immaculate as if it had been placed there deliberately so no harm would reach it. I stared at the book for a few minutes then carefully picked it up for inspection; it had embroided lettering on the front which said “Nothing left”, a crimson silk covering and the initials AJM printed on the back of it.

I turned to the first page, which was also immaculate with the word “welcome”, in big black bold letters, printed in the centre of the page. I turned to the next page, which had the words “Property of AJM” on it. At that point I turned away, not wanting to read on. After a few minutes I carried on reading, I turned to the third page, which to my surprise was blank. The fourth page however had the words “For your eyes only, this is your life” printed in the centre of it. I looked blankly at the words on the page and read them through repeatedly, what did it mean? Was I about to find out?
Taking a few deep breaths I decided to carry on looking through the book, which was at least three hundred pages long. Page after page of writing, personal details, important words I had said, were all recorded in this book. I flicked through the pages until I came to a page that had the word “Mariah…” printed on it. My mind switched and I started panicking, where was Mariah, the love of my live, I had not seen her since I was calling her name and running towards her, but never got to her. Was she alright? Did she know I was gone? I needed to contact her, but how?

I skipped a few pages occasionally scanning a few words, taking in what I was actually reading. I came to the last few pages and started to slow down and paying attention in fine detail to the words that were printed. I am only twenty-five years old and can not believe I am seeing this, I thought to myself as I came to the second to last page. Looking at this page, I noticed that it wasn’t like any other in the book, this page was all torn and old, it had stains on it and the writing was hardly recognisable. The most characteristic difference about the page apart from it being on old parchment was that it had been signed with the initials AJM.
As I strained to read it I noticed that it was some kind of poem that read:

When all I think about is you,
And all I think about is death,
I feel my time has gone
I have nothing else left.

This bleeding defiance so sacrilegious,
This startling nightmare so frayed,
My life, eternal, seeping through
These tears a crimson shade.

AJM

I read the poem over and over again until it was almost repeatable from memory. I took a few moments to think what it meant and I came to the conclusion it would play a big part in my future somehow. Feeling shaky and a little bit scared I stood up and brought my hands to my face, I ran my left hand through my hair while I wiped a tear from my eye with the right. I sat down on the dusty floor catching and tearing my jeans on the chest as I did so. Wondering what I was going to do next I turned to the last page of the book which at first glance looked blank, but I looked closer and on the right hand corner of the book in small italic font the words “Goodbye world, thanks for the memories, but even you oh mighty one, wouldn’t of predicted this when I was born all those years ago”.

Even more misery stricken confusion plagued my mind as I didn’t know what these words meant and I struggled for answer to questions I didn’t know. Having gotten to the end of the book I decided to place it back in the chest exactly how I had found it, doing so I put the lid down and locked it. My mind was running wild and a million thoughts a second went through it, Mariah, the book, the supernatural doorway, my grandfather’s artwork, the clock by the window, the room I started off in. They all seemed so familiar; they all had significance to my life and me but how and why. As I was putting the key back in the gloomy hole in the wall, my fingers stumbled across an old bit of parchment neatly rolled and sealed with a red silk ribbon. I gently untied the delicate ribbon and unrolled the parchment, I held the parchment up to the ever-luminous light and read the hand written note that was on it. It read, “Alex, Alex its Mariah, please come back to us, please be ok, Alex I love you”.
My mind faded along with the room as everything seemed to vanish in front of my eyes, I started to panic and couldn’t draw my breathe, I started to choke, and I could feel my strength leaving my body and I became frail, my eyes closed and I slipped in and out of the unknown until my final breathe was gone.