|
Despite being nice, and sweet, and seemingly understanding most guys don't know the meaning of the word no. I don't know how many times I had to say it last night, but it never sunk in.
So he had kissed me against my own will, several times. Polietly saying no wasn't enough. Forcefully saying no wasn't enough. Pushing him away wasn't enough. The words "lets just be friends" wasn't enough. It really hasn't sunken in for me yet, but it really scared me. I couldn't use force to get away since I know I'm not allowed to use it. I wanted to run away and scream, but I didn't want to draw attention at the same time. I wonder what would have happened to me if I wasn't forceful in my words.
I don't know what to think anymore, apparently I'm a "popular" with the guys now. Its purely on a physical level with them which scares me. I'm so scared on using force since the justice system is completely ********. I might go back to jail for "abuse" just for trying to defend myself. I was defending myself back then and got the axe, so I can most certainly get it again.
It would have been hard taking him down, he made sure he had a firm hold on me each time. He was still nice about it though, but playful can turn ugly and it felt like it was going to if I had stayed. Maybe I'm just frightened by an act of kindness, or maybe he wanted more out of me than what I was willing to give. I should always trust my gut...
********.
Hm. And I might have cheated on someone too, which makes the morality of this crap painful. It was against my own will, so I don't know if I did something wrong. I hope I didn't.
Mmm. Yay. Slutty.
|
Community Member
And what happened that you got the axe? Did he have an ungodly Civil-defense lawyer, or what?