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I had recieved a hateful message today. This person had lied to me, possibly to protect someone else. I do not care. I do not appreciate him telling me to go kill myself. I do not appreciate him being a total a*****e to me when he has never spoken with Raymond before, ever.
And I especially don't want to play these stupid little mind games.
IF this person has ever read anything I have written, he would have been how sorry I am for everything. Words can only express a certain amount of my feelings. I have paid for what I have done to Raymond. And yes, I am a horrible person because of it. There's no doubt about it, I am a horrible person. But I am paying for what I have done in more ways than one. Sadly it is not the way I did to Raymond. I would take that pain every mark of it, and put it on myself. I want to feel his pain. Take it away from him so he doesn't feel it anymore. Because I inflicted it.
Yes, that letter did do its job. It hurt me. Congradulations, you hurt me. Does that make you any more of a man? You joined Gaia to specially send me a message, when it would have been much easier to notice my little MSN email and emailed me your slander. I do deserve a lot, but I do not deserve your message. I am not a prissy perfect little angel. I have never said that, or even believed I was anything near the word perfect. I did one of the most hurtful things you could do to someone you love, and to this day I do not understand why I did it. Thats why I'm getting help.
Your lies do not help the situation. I suggest you stay out of it. I had already messaged the other person involved. She has yet to respond or has chosen not to. There is nothing more I can do without looking like I am harassing her.
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Community Member