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Thinking
I don't really know why I titled this thinking. I guess for lack of anything else. I mean I guess that is what i was doing and that is why I am thinking about it right now. Last night as usual I ended up in my room crying and I dont' really want to go into why. All I know is that I did something a little different they what i normally do which is just lay down and wait till I fall asleep in my clothing. I got up and went to take a shower, but it wasn't even a shower because I had already cleaned and stuff just half an hour before. I just kinda stood in the shower and thought about things and then I lay down in the shower to feel the cold tile and the hot water at the same time. It was really nice actually, I mean I'm sure I sound like the crazy I am right now but it was really nice and I thought but I didn't have to think. It was so calm just the mixture ofthe shower tiles and the hot water and just your bare skin. It kinda reminded me of the nice feeling of laying next to someone you love without a shirt on (and maybe some other things off... ) But don't take this perverted like I know you will. It was just one of those really strange moments when you feel like the world is going to ******** fall to pieces and you might just die but you find some little ledge that you can just sit down on for a moment and take a deep breath and not die. So I don't know try it when your mad next time, you may look like a freak like me but it was really nice to do that for once it felt like drowning but not dieing when you where drowning. This might all be with a little help from lack of sleep though but no drugs this time promise. Just really nice natural feeling. Please don't be perverts about this thank you.
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