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Pain

All of her like she had been told trust in god he'll never leave your side. for a long time she believed that, always trying to do the right thing. but that was before everything changed. never did i think that this could happen, but that one cold night changed my life forever. i remember it like it was yesterday. i must have only been 14. it was a cold night with only the light of the moon to lead the way. i was walking home from a friends when it happened. he grabbed me from the shadows, i tried to get away but i could not. i remember screaming and crying, but all he done was smiled down at me and said no one's going to hear you so scream all you want. "I like it when they scream." i can still see his smile. that night made me hate god. i laid in my own blood wishing i would die.

It was late that night when i got home. my mother was passed out in the chair with her man for that night beside her. she had never tried to hide her sex life from me, a new man every night of the week. sometimes i wondered if she really cared about me? that night i cried myself to sleep, wishing that i would not have to face the next day. i could feel the sun on my cheek the next day. i opened my eyes hoping that last night was a bad dream that's when everything came crashing down. i screamed from the pain i felt, a pain that at times was to much.

For the next 10 years i never said a word to anyone. i just sat in the chair looking at the wall. never feeling or caring until her. she was there because she would not stop cutting herself. she would always talk to me but i never said a word to her. i could hear screaming they were saying call the dr. we are losing her. for some reason i got up and walked to the door, all i saw was blood. then i saw her body laying on the floor. i screamed an ran to her, before she closed her eyes and took her last breath, she said I LOVE YOU.... i screamed from the anger i felt at her for leaving me all alone in this cold unfeeling world.